Living In Hell

Boastful mischief I endure,

devouring my self esteem little by little.

You laugh at my fear,

and wish to bury me in it.

 

Your tongue lies to me,

it's like darts flying,

my heart is the bullseye.

You love deceit,

and your evil ways.

 

Your violence paralyzes me.

My sorrow and pain you feed off of.

Horror overwhelms me as you invade my body.

I pray that mercy will seize upon me,

or death will take me to rest.

 

Each day I feel like you swallow me,

and spit me out.

You tear me in pieces and scatter my feelings on the floor.

My crying is weak and pathetic to you.

Harsh words frame my body.

 

Pride covers you like your favorite shirt.

You feel an accomplishment at bringing me down.

Discipline is what you say I need,

you plaque me with beatings daily.

 

My bitterness grows inside of me,

fertilizing it with the desire for freedom.

Another day is too much to bare.

I know now I must free myself from your possession.

As I swallow the bottle of pills I call hope,

peace washes over me.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think!!

Reviews

[Sherbs Dreaming Tree Of..]

Beautiful imagery with a devastating undertone!
Fantastic!

[Bridgid Persephone Newm..]

Beautiful but sad. It sounds like my childhood except the pills part.
I like it very much, and as I see someone else has already given you a combined grammar and spelling lesson, I will forego doing so as well.

[Mark]

Kathy, Merely adding "eth" to a verb is not all that is required to emulate Tudorian English, particularly when it is done inconsistently, as here. I would recommend that all those verbs were returned to today's syntax; I do not see how your poem was improved or it's message made clearer by their addition.
"Self esteem" is two words;
"Another day is too much to BEAR...", and
"You PLAGUE me with beatings..."
As to the content, though, I found this a powerful work, which spoke to the heart in the most plaintive of terms.

[JanieB]

Excellent write. Very well done.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is a starling look at the cycle of abuse...
How do we end up doing it to ourselves.
Eye opening work!

[Tina Kline]

A very dark reality a lot of women suffer. You tell your story in a very unique way, I think. Such a tragic ending to your story of a women trapped in a very abusive relationship. Very realistic and emotional.

[Jibey]

This expressed the pain and humiliation of being abused so powerfully... I felt the bare rawness of it...

(The use of outdated English get in the way - for example 'I endureth' is wrong... Better not to attempt it than to get the grammar wrong lol)

[Brad]

stoic and hurtful, the tears dripped off this one

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Good one..!!