Shelter From Above

People who are looking for their refuge, their rock!

Canopy of sorrows,

like thick fog overpowers my soul.

I'm like a lion,

lurking, ready to attack.

Angry all the time.

Is there shelter from despair?

 

Pavilion of darkness,

like the dead of night surrounds my body.

Calamity, disaster, misfortune.

Is there shelter from distress?

 

The foundation of my life is crumbling,

falling in pieces around me.

I need directions, a map.

My compass is broken like my heart.

Is there shelter from pain?

 

I close my eyes,

mumbling a prayer.

A bright light glowing from above gives me strength.

I feel peace, warmth, comfort.

Is there shelter from the world?

 

Where?

GOD

Author's Note

Something I felt lead to write. Maybe someone needs to hear it. I know I find peace with him, although life is hard it's easier with him on your side. Tell me if it's good, bad, or how you feel about it!

Reviews

[Misty Blue Eyes]

very nicely said hun love it

[Julie Beth]

i really loved this one great job

[A.hasnain]

I really like how you sort of incorporated religion into anger, it relates to alot of people. Keep up the good work x

[TheCuckoo]

This is a perfect example of the biggest problem with this website. Nobody has said anything about the techniques employed by the author to create the poem. All anyone writes about is content, but not how it actually works.

Ok so the poem is about god (well spotted) and you found it (nice work) and so i guess if you like god, you like the poem, and if you like god you'll say so here and if you don't like god, you might steer clear of reviewing this. But how is this any good to the author? I wish nobody would write anything about the subject matter, who cares? its not important, the author has a message to get across and it is about how well the author manges this. write about technique, form, pace, cadence! anything? but not interpretation. Or interpret away but it doesn't matter about if the poem is right or wrong or not, or good or bad because you like the ideas in it. Ask yourself is it actually well written?

to me all of these reviews would be utterly utterly pointless if i had written the poem.

My constructive criticism? well i would like to see the use of metaphor more, i'd like more ambiguity and less spoon fed lines. It would be nice if it was more sugguestive and less obvious, its far too obvious to me. What i love is the first line though because i think that conveys the idea of a feeling i believe i can understand and describing it as a canopy offers very good imagery of such emotion, not only that but i think it connotes a very complex feeling in so few words but evokes thought of much more depth on reading it.

[cfix]

I really enjoyed this write, i thought it was quite the powerful read.
Very well written!

[Shellie]

I really liked it, it is very good. I like the different phrases they were very well laid out, the message is quite powerful esp the last lines

[Ladysue]

A powerful write...nicely done...

[InkSlinger]

Okay... I have to say I am rather impressed with your progress.. the rough cut gem is finally shining after a little buffing.. so shine brightly my friend.. Very good use of words, and well placed imagery.. I am proud to see your growth.. Excellent work!

[SilentLullabies]

Maybe He told you to write it because He knew someone would need to read it. I know I sure did.

[Dark Aeris]

Nice poem, I feel pretty much the same way about God in this moment

---you should listen to the song !
"God in this moment" Gavin Mikhail.
x]