Ready The Gun

This was a quicky, and my first poem for this website(:

She waves goodbye,

With many a tear in her eye.

The final ship,

Is ready to sail.

 

Her parents won't know,

Until it is to late.

Her friends won't care,

"Isn't that great?"

 

She stares in the mirror,

And asks herself one final time,

"Am I ready to meet my creator?"

She holds up the gun...

As her tears continue to run.

Author's Note

Constructive critisism is welcomed!

Reviews

[Bare trees]

Until it is (Too) late. I thought it was good. The last stanza has no rhyme and a bit different in meter but to me it's a short poem so it doesn't bother me. Although I don't condone suicide, this was a good poem.

BTW, I'm changing my teardrop avatar we both share. LOL

[light and ashes]

I think that this is awesome

[srh922]

I feel like the end is really anti-climactic. Other than a minor spelling error ("Until it is to late" --> "Until it is too late") I loved it!

[Maya Storm]

What a slap in the face I though that she was going to some place earth bound... surprise ending... like it

[Unknown]

I find that in a sad emotional poem that this is rhyme is not necessary. For me rhyme instantly makes me think of a nursery rhyme, and this can elude to the emotion behind the poem.
Overall though I do like it, thumbs up!

[Max]

A good short, emotional poem. Although I'd hope the speaker realizes that suicide is never the answer :P

This poem might be improved by fixing up the meter and the rhyme. This might give it more of an effect.

Hope that helps :)