30.

poem written through text messages with my writing partner

contradictory perplexities settled on the fringe of thoughts
my gums had been bleeding on and off for two days now
i think i'm dying , but i think that a lot now
especially since the waves of panic masks itself in the wind
i frame my beliefs around moments of fear
because it's those moments i understand my existence better
better than most assume
so i drew a cross on my window
with soap hoping the sun would see it
send me to providence
i promised to pray more
after a while , the soap flaked off and i was left with nothing
more than a cloudy sky and bloody gums
i sat stiffly darting my eyes to various sources of sound ,
of the slightest movements
soon, my room became casket-like,
and my heart's fire grew dim,
creating shadows in all four corners
the shadows followed closer than i remembered
soon, my electricity and water were turned off
and i was left with crumbs from the ravaged .