Drowning Inside Lonely Flames

It's about two lost souls coming together after several lifetimes of separation.

Blistered pipes consume woes that build within
fiberglass of my tortured mind.
Bodies of water twist and spiral out of control.
For this is the dance of wild throats.
I'm melting into your sanguine eyes.
I often saturate these tombs with glazed ice
to keep in comfort of your mystified glance.
I'm drowning inside lonely flames that quench heated thirst,
and offer the lion's den in homage to omniscient nights.
I often cringe when the bite cuts deep into my rosin flesh.
Only you take away my burning melodies that seem to glide through me.
I am of one bereft sun that creates a shield over imprisoned streams.
Lift me out of this abyss I have created with my aching visions.
Don't let me go down into the devil's flames.
For I surrender my spirit unto you.
Your icy flesh drapes me in shivering goblets that have become me.
For the longer I continue to run away from me,
the surer I am to find your light burning into me.
For there is a dream in the satin voices I hear.
I can see every inch of the Lord's kingdom
where angels rest their harps that speak with feverish tongues, saying,
"Bleed no more into childish woes the irrigation of your burning desires.
For all shall come up from the stalking flames,
and let their singed hearts echo the song that is the sustenance for the spirit,
and the guide for the soul to be taken into labyrinth arms."
She'll lull you by night.
His voice simmers, and he waits for some uncurbed retreat.
Let's slip away in the words of his velvet tongue.
Can I cross panoramic lines with you?
If only to exchange a glance to fold my heart on top of his.
I count the beats of merriment,
and listen to the shadows that murmur in the night.
For I quench my thirst for his passionate waves,
and let howling winds surround our canopy
at the heights of the full moon.

Author's Note

What do you think of the prose?

Reviews

[poetic soul]

its very deep and thought-provoking.. there are some parts i loved to the core:

1. Bleed no more into childish woes
2. Only you take away my burning melodies
3. let howling winds surround our canopy
4. I'm melting into your sanguine eyes
5. Your icy flesh drapes me in shivering goblets that have become me

you jus create magic!!!! how do u do it.....????
anyway.....its really amazing....thanks for sharing this....to cut the long story short,
its a "sheer class".....

:) Smiles,
Poetic Soul

[ABitBrokenPoetry]

this is beautifully written. the imagery is amazing. "Let's slip away in the words of his velvet tongue." gorgeous. once i started to read it, i couldn't stop. this really is an absolutely beautiful masterpiece.

[Victoria Chang]

a bit confusing but I like the deep meaning (at least of the ones I understood)!

"I can see every inch of the Lord's kingdom
where angels rest their harps that speak with feverish tongues, saying,
"Bleed no more into childish woes the irrigation of your burning desires.
For all shall come up from the stalking flames,
and let their singed hearts echo the song that is the sustenance for the spirit,
and the guide for the soul to be taken into labyrinth arms."

This is about the confusion of the heart (or so I think) and the mind's uncertainty.
It could also mean that a spoiled heart will eventually lose everything.
Well, thanks for sharing this wonderful 'prose' (I think of it more as an expression of the soul)!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"Prose" is defined by Webster's as, " The ordinary language which people use in speaking or writing", with that said, this is far from prose. It is far too rich in metaphorical expression and alternating description to be prose. "sanguine eyes" is a perfect example. I think red or bloodshot would be more prosaic. I find myself trying to decipher some of the meanings like, "I am of one bereft sun ". Since there is only one sun and "bereft" implies that that sun is lacking something needed, wanted or expected, I am completely at a loss. There were other phrases which I found equally confusing, such as, "Your icy flesh drapes me in shivering goblets that have become me." It would be very difficult to "drape" a goblet, unless one melted the glass or silver first and this goblet is "shivering" and metamorhosizing into the narrator at the same time. Overall, I found the piece confusing in some of its expressions. But I can only offer my own honest opinion. There seem to be quite a few reviewers here who thought this was brilliant. I can only echo "to each his own" and note that, for them, it seems that clarity here was not an issue. I'm still giving it a 100% rating because it deserves it for the unusual use of words, but prose? It is not.

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Lots of well-placed metaphors. I like it.

[TL Boehm]

it is fevered, intense and almost surreal prose. Even without the explanation/intro this is a strong write. The attraction is palpable and the imagery exquisite. Well done.

[THE LOST ROSE]

Bodies of water twist and spiral out of control.
For this is the dance of wild throats.
I'm melting into your sanguine eyes.
I often saturate these tombs with glazed ice
to keep in comfort of your mystified glance.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only you take away my burning melodies that seem to glide through me.
I am of one bereft sun that creates a shield over imprisoned streams.
Lift me out of this abyss I have created with my aching visions.
Don't let me go down into the devil's flames.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I count the beats of merriment,
and listen to the shadows that murmur in the night.
For I quench my thirst for his passionate waves,
and let howling winds surround our canopy
at the heights of the full moon.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I am sorry that I copied and pasted most of your poems but I read this piece 3 times and each time a different piece moved me so much that I was force to start over. This is wonderful. I enjoyed this. I just finished 11 pages of read requests over the last two days. What a way for me to finish. I do not plan on reviewing any more poetry until after the Lent season. I am glad this poem will register with me for awhile.

[Spit_and_Prayers]

As always, your words weave a fabric of vivid imagery and embracing emotions. My favorite line is, "For this is the dance of wild throats". That is an excellent metaphor. My only suggestion is to replace the word sanguine with something else on line five. It may just be personal preference, but I find it is a word used for often as to border upon cliche. As always your poetry demands a depth of devotion to be deciphered, but that is your style, and thus far I like it. I'm always up for a challenge, especially a literary one. Thanks

[Erotic Goddess]

For I surrender my spirit unto you.
Your icy flesh drapes me in shivering goblets that have become me.
For the longer I continue to run away from me,
the surer I am to find your light burning into me.
For there is a dream in the satin voices I hear.

WOW!!!! This is stunning. I cannot even tell you how superb the imagery is in this piece that you have created. I really think that you have an amazing talent here. Thank you for sharing this with me.

xxoxx
Goddess

[Suzanne Sherif]

I'm afraid I'm on the same page as Samuel Dickens. Although I admire the rich imagery, I think in the end I was a little confused by this one.

[Lyndie Bolt aka JustRac..]

Igenerally do not do poetry review-- never has been my favorite writing form...But this poem made me feel sad an anxious while reading. Is this the effert you were gong for?

PS take a look at a wbsote I just found called writing.com-- lost of members an lots of reviews happening there.

Lynn