Chapter Four: Keeping Score

Dominica reflects some more on the Dessert Storm War.

The newscasters on television were always announcing another killing in Kuwait. Even in the supermarket, the television captured everything in great detail. The way the media was going about their overall analysis of the war was quite disturbing to me as I faded away into my own world while my friends shopped for snacks. I could only stare hypnotized at the screen, the picture that lay before me. I blurted out the first thing that came into my mind. "How can they go on about making such judgments? The way they talk, one would think they were discussing a football game, especially when considering the way they go about keeping score as to how many soldiers the United States has lost thus far and how many the the enemy lost, or should I say, the opponent. How can they use human beings in that form? How can they treat real people as if they were nothing but numbers, especially when many of these men and women may be married with families?"

A man happened to be standing right behind me looking at a bag of potato chips on the display when he overheard me, and commented on my remarks. "Sometimes that's just the way things work out."

I turned around suddenly, because the voice had been so unexpected. But once I caught my breath, things got back to normal and I gave a response. "Is it really worth it for these people to lose their lives for an unjust cause. I mean, I would hardly call fighting to protect our right for oil a worthy cause. Fighting for freedom or at least to protect or bring about freedom in another country, I can understand. But not when it comes to the government looking out for it's own best interests so they can make some quick bucks."

"My dear, there's certainly a lot more to it than that. Listen to me, I know what I'm talking about. I've been voting since nineteen twenty-five, when I first became of age to vote. How old are you?" the man asked.

"I'm twenty-one. But I hardly thing that has anything to do--" I started to say when he interrupted me.

"It has plenty to do with what we are discussing. Why, do you know what it's like to grow up hungry, particularly during the time of the depression?" he responded defensively.

"Of course not. How can I know when I was never around. I wasn't even born then." I replied.

"That's right. You weren't around and you obviously do not understand what it could be like or what it was like at the time, nor do you fully understand politics and how it works in this country or any other." he scolded me.

"Actually, I did have several courses in history and I have taken a government class when I was in high school, in addition to taking it when I first started college. It was a required course for every student to take before he could graduate, and I got A's in both history and government classes. I also saw films in many of my history classes covering various time periods, particularly those which dealt with the era involving the depression." I informed him.

"First of all there were two depressions. Second of all, you can't get everything out of books and get a clear picture. A film may help you get an idea of what was really going on at the time if it was a documentary--" he informed me as I interrupted him before he could finish talking.

"Yes. I know." I blurted out.

"You know nothing. You see, my dear, in order to get a clear idea of what this kind of suffering was all about, you must first suffer yourself. Another words, you must be an active participant in the experience. Something you can never do, because you can't go back in time. The past can't be changed. You've got to take it for what it is and learn from it. You have no other choice in the matter. Another thing I'd like to clear up is the issue of the war itself." he shouted.

"Like what?" I asked sternly.

"You say you've had many courses in history and so on. Is that correct." he asked.

"Yes." I responded bluntly.

"Well, if that's true then you would know that had it not been for World War One and World War Two, this country would have been shot to hell a long time ago, because it was the wars themselves that got the economy going again after the crash of the stock market. Yes, we went to war mostly for economic reasons during the first World War, but we had no choice. We had to eat and it was the war effort that fed your grandparents, otherwise you wouldn't be here today, because they may have starved to death. That's how bad things were at the time." he informed me.

I then raised my voice a little. "I'm well aware of that, sir. But what I'm trying to say is that if we are to send young men and women to Kuwait, then let the battles be for a just cause. Let's not send them off to be butchered. If they are to die, then let it be for a worthy cause. I'm not against war per say. but I'm against having men and women killed for somebody else's selfishness. You see, I'm sure we could find another resource to replace gasoline. Perhaps it's a good time to really put our knowledge to work and see what we can find, see what we can really come up with. We test ourselves everyday, as you already know. Of course, you, I'm sure have faced many challenges in life, like the Depression and whatever other hardships you have endured in your life. For instance, it's been two years since I lost my brother to a drunk driver who was also a hit and run. My brother was in a coma for a week before he finally died. I watched him die everyday he was on the respirator." By that time I was almost in tears.

The man raised his eyebrows like he was shocked by my response. "Then you do know what I'm talking about."

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"You see--Uh--What did you say you name was?" he inquired.

"It's Dominica." I responded.

"Well, Dominica, the young have more of a chance of being killed in a car accident every day, particularly when it conerns drunk driving, than they otherwise would have during a war. It's a dangerous world we live in. Always has been and always will be. But we still take risks. If we didn't take risks then we'd be considered dead already, because if we constantly sit in one room all of the time doing nothing, then we are dead already. In fact, we're worse off than the dead. I fought all over Europe, in France, in Germany and in many other places the army stationed me. I watched many of my buddies die, and there was nothing more I could do for them other than retrieve them from where they lay in the infested trenches filled with human manure and urine, if you'll pardon me. I don't mean to talk that way, but I've got to tell the truth. We waited for days on end in those trenches for the enemy, because we were surrounded. We knew that if we got out, we were dead men. If we remained, we were definitely sure to die of frost bite if the guns didn't get us first, or the smell of filth. Sure there were those who lost their fingers or toes, but the point is that they survived, becasue they weren't afraid to take chances. I enlisted to serve my country and because I wanted to make a better life for my future children at the time. I wasn't married before I went overseas. But when I returned, I planned to marry my high school sweetheart, and that's precisely what I did. She waited for me until I got back home. Sure, she had other suitors, but none could compare to me, she said. She knew she was taking a chance by her refusal, particularly when they had the big money and could give her everything her heart so desired. But nothing they offered her could make up for what she really lacked or what she really wanted out of life. She knew that there was no guarantee that I would return, but she kept hoping and she kept a positive outlook on the entire situation. She had a good sense of vision as to what her life could be. What life could be for all around her, as well as for herself. Without dreams, there is no life. And in order to have dreams we must first look within ourselfves if we are to unlock those steel doors. But only you can do that for you. Believe me when I tell you this. I'm sure there is some point to this war, and I'm certain something good will come out of it."

"But what about my friends?" I asked.

"Just keep believing and see what happens. Remember, you must unlock those steel doors trapped within yourself. Set the fragments free so you may explore new dimensions yet to come you way." he responded solemnly.

Author's Note

What do you think of the dialogue?

Reviews

[_______________________..]

I like everything about this scene. Especially the dialogue between Dominica and the World War II vetran.

[Lyndie Bolt aka JustRac..]

Dialogue is VERY long winded. It needs to be broken up by a true honest discourse between the participants. Try using observations to break the dialogue up. The part where the WW2 vet is speaking seems like a big lecture you would have to endure in a classroom, not something that would happen in a store. (If I ran into either of your characters in this scene I would RUN away-- and that is rare for me!) Dominica's initial protests are very very naive! and the Vets protest that the reason US entering WW2 was totally related to ending the depression is also naive. I thinks a back and forth conversation would be more interesting and could elaborate on the complexities of the issues.

Take a look at the historic markers of the stock market. By the time WW2 even started it was very well on it's way to total recovery. Pearl Harbor was the catalyst, just as 9/11 was a catalyst, to a war(s) we were slowly on our way to entering anyway.

Here is a re-work on 2 paragraphs:

"That's right. You weren't around and you obviously do NOT understand what it was like," he scolded me. "Nor do you fully understand how politics work in this country or any other." He barked as he peered at me over his wire rimmed spectacles

I felt my temper flare. "Actually, I did have several courses in history and taken a government class when I was in high school." I couldn't believe it this man just truly snorted at me! I felt my pulse quicken and my face beginning to flush. "I also had to take these when I first started college. They are required course for every student to graduate;" I spat out at him. "And, I got A's in both history and government classes." I added.

"Phh." He pursed his lips and rolled his eyes at me.

I added in a hurry to distract him from futher commenting on what I peceived as his disdain for my lack of experiences. "I also saw films in many of my history classes particularly those which dealt with the depression." I informed him.

His eyes saddened as he shook his head at me in a weary way.

You need to make your characters alive in your own head. Easiest way I know is to imagine someone you actually know having these conversations. How do they look? how do they sound? What do they do when saying these things? What do they see? What do they hear? How do they feel and how do they show their feelings?

I see that you have motivations for wanting to tell this story, but you are getting bogged down in the narratives. it needs to flow. Try using a recorder and "tell this story" to either the recorder or someone else. Speak it out loud. it will make more sense to you then when you write it, as you should then be able to visualize what these characters are saying. They almost have to become delusionally real to you. think of the character walking beside you during your day, what would he or she say in different circumstances/ Not just the scenes you put them in.

If you want to stay in first person on the narrative and get a good idea of some writing that has "commercial" value (hey- don't we all want our writings published??) read Stepanie Meyer's Twilight then go to http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/midnightsun.html and read what she has written for the "other side' of the story/conversations. No this isn't probably Hemmingway or Fitzgerald, but she does know how to visualize her characters as real people, and have them talk and behave in a believable manner.

Keep writing!

Lyn