centipede

i look at the flesh on her arms

getting older,

say something stupid,

think something wonderful..

whistle past taverns and graveyards

and work,

smoke some more green

and get back on the floor again - 

mattress or not.

Reviews

[Ees]

I LOVE this one.
My favorite line is "whistle past taverns and graveyards"- fantastic.
The last two lines of the first stanza are great too.
Lovely poem. Awesome work!
I don't know what the centipede has to do with it, myself, but that might not matter, it doesn't to me anyway.

[Lily Mae]

I know quite a few of these centipedes.. I agree with Ees.. the "whistle past taverns and graveyards" was awesome.. it made me smile thinking of a haunted cemetery I visited in Chicago.. xo

[stimey]

I was born and raised on the south side of Chicago

[eglantine]

I'd break the first stanza in half--seems to be two points the speaker is making. Nice line break after "graveyards"

[James William Dyer]

"say something stupid,
think something wonderful..
", yeah I've felt that before. I liked the poem, I wonder if you could build more on the centipede analogy to make your comparison to this creature more clear. But m,aybe not, maybe it's perfect as is. I enjoyed reading it.

[Ed Fagan]

You leave us as we started ... imagining our own. brilliant!

[Ravyne Hawke]

Love the imagery in this poem, how each word means so much in this short piece. I like the carefully constructed sense of growing up and old.

[Dr. Wood ?]

well I like this one...I love it when people get in there and say their piece and get out quickly..You covered so much in such a short space

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we often think one thing and then say the wrong thing...bite our tongue!

i like the lines, "whistle past taverns and graveyards/ and work."

there it is, life in a sentence...the grind, the winding down, and then you die.

getting back on the floor again seems a good idea... make it all stop...

i can't stand seeing her get old---

like previously said "less is more" and pack lots into few words and allow the reader to drift to different places...

that is my kind of poetry!

Centipede, for me fits so well...cause i see the first several legs being youth, the middle legs middle age, and the last legs...aging into the sunset.

we are increments in our own lives. hopefully the legs won't carry us too fast.

jacob

[AleyshaRosa]

Rough, haunting, grave.
I honestly love this poem. No excessive flattery needed. Few words said, but the aggression spits consistently.
Awesome
Koodoos.

[DrD]

Earthy, real and a style that undresses the soul. That's your style, Stimey, and I hope you never change it. I truly like the concept you have in your portrayals and your economy of words takes nothing away from the image or message. An excellent work that I enjoyed immensely.