Just A Memory

It's curious what our minds hold onto.

I'm not one for living in past. I live for the here and now, for the people who mean something to me. But every once in a while, there's a trigger. A song, a smell, a sound... something that sends me back and makes me remember.
*


"I feel so much better now that you're gone forever."

I heard this song today and, as always, it brought me back to you. My mind was flooded with images spanning over our entire relationship. It always astonished me just how long it took for the two of us to be together and how, once we got there, just the touch of your hand was enough to make my day.

However, it's not the happy memories I focus on simply because it's not a happy song. It is by no means a love song and sometimes I think on how ironic the whole thing is; a break up song is the one that so potently transports me back to that single moment.

In a friend's car, sitting in the backseat cuddling with you, driving to who knows where on a cool night, just being young. Laying comfortably by your side, a place I'd become accustomed to, the song came on and I looked up at you. I stared at the face I knew so well, the boy I loved in an innocent way, and something became incredibly clear to me.

At once, I knew to cherish this moment and never forget because our time would be over soon. I didn't understand how I knew such a thing or why it didn't upset me in the least. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and memorized your smell. Where I fit so perfectly next to you, I enjoyed the warmth I would soon have to miss. I weaved our fingers together, remembering the only touch I ever needed.

At fifteen, I recognized the end and knew to not regret one second of our relationship. Reminded myself that once it was over, to always look back on my first love with happiness. In the span of a three minute, heartbreaking song, my own heart beat steadily on, content to be yours just a little while longer.

The music washed over me and I held just a little bit tighter while you were still mine.

Author's Note

Though I've relived this moment many times, it never occurred in so many words before. It all flooded me and there was no way I was going to let it pass.

Reviews

[..R.I.P..]

Wow. This is amazingly well written. And easily related to. Very good job.