Lily Lullaby

I had to write a poem about a flower for the last question of a poetry packet, it had to take on a strange life of it's own. Did I succeed?

 

Sweet heavenly scent

Manipulates all senses from the start

Beautiful trickster!

Long white petals

 So pure

 So demure…

Gorgeous wild temptations!

Be they petals painted

 of a tiger’s majestic pride;

be they floating innocently

 on a clear, cool lake…

Wraps the body and the mind

      into false complacency

  with sweet lily lullabies…

Until life is devoid,

 Eyes clouded,

 Breath still.

These petals shall rest

 with death…

Forevermore.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Keep in mind I wrote this in 5 minutes :]

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

This was brilliantly written, like a lyric that drifts from light to dark, life to death... You paint an enchanting picture that is so vivid! Amazing piece that surely accomplishes what you set out to do and more!

[H]

Forevermore! Haa! Not a lover of poetry but I'm still a sucker for pretty words.

"Gorgeous wild temptations!
Be they petals painted
of a tiger's majestic pride;"

That's really delicious. Like, I could eat it.

[Jonathan Ballam]

Beautiful piece :D

Here's something to think about. Try and do away with adverbs that end in 'ly'. This is some advice I read from Stephen King.

When you have time, and your heart isn't as close to it...re-think using the word "innocently".

[StoryTailor]

It's nice. For some reason I feel like it could have been better (but that's probably the whole five minute thing). So now I want to see something that you actually put time into because of how beautiful this one is. Great job with it.

[ajasminewallflower]

Keep in mind that its beautiful....Loved it!