Confessions

Amalia finds out how slowly days go by, and a family is thrown into chaos.

 

(5)

Confessions

 

                Amalia tapped her foot rapidly as she sat in English class, listening to the teacher ramble on and on forever about what the homework was. How hard would it be to simply say: “Read chapters three and four then write a log”? She didn’t think it seemed all that complicated, but apparently it was the toughest thing in the world. High school teachers really had no faith in their students.

                The girl sitting next to Amalia turned her head and gave her a look that was clearly a stop-tapping message. However, Amalia was too occupied thinking about a hundred things, some which connected and some that didn’t.

                How many times is she going to tell us the homework? I could be done with the work by now if she would stop… Why did Kris do that? He should know I’m not worth the time or effort. I’m really hungry. I can’t wait to go home. Damn, I can’t go home. What is this? Day three? Four? I wonder if she told Dad yet…probably not. I still need to name the dog. Did I ever get my scarf back from Lorelai? It was my favorite scarf…

                Before she knew it, the class was empty save herself and the teacher, who was now staring at her. Quickly gathering her things, Amalia flew out of the class hoping to get to Cal without having to stop and talk to people. By some sort of miracle, Lorelai was nowhere to be seen. Had she actually signed up for the yearbook staff? Amalia thought she’d decided not to… Her head was in ten places at once these days. Her cell phone vibrated in her pocket.

                “Hello?”

                “Hi, Bug! Did you have a good day at school?” Her dad’s voice reached her through the phone and her heart skipped a beat. Her mother should be the nervous one here.

                “It was alright, with the learning and whatnot.” She knew how lame and forced she sounded, but she didn't know how to fix her tone.

                “You okay?”

                “Yeah, Dad. I’m great. What’s up?” She hoped her voice didn’t sound as panicked as she was actually feeling at the moment.

                “I thought I would pick you up from school and we could go down to the creek. I know you’ve outgrown catching bugs, but I wanted us to spend some time together,” he said excitedly. It was true that they hadn’t gone to the creek in about six years and Amalia really wanted to go. The soothing sounds of the creek had always been her favorite therapy as a kid. While she knew the situation would be looming over her head the entire time, she agreed and was soon in her dad’s car.

                “I’m so excited we’re going back to the creek!”

                “Me too. I missed it,” Amalia said.

                Not much else was said after that. She and her dad had always been accustomed to silence and appreciated it. Molly was the one who constantly needed conversation, even if it was inane and useless. Since they were in this reverie, Amalia got lost in the events of three days ago (she had figured out it had been three days since the coffee and the ultimatum).

 

3 days earlier...

                After she’d stomped off to her room feeling quite successful, Amalia had sat on her bed with No Name and started her homework. This was not part of her usual routine, but on that day she could have cared so much less. No Name slept contentedly next to her as she wrote while Owl City played from her computer. Just as she was switching to Trig, her cell trilled. Kris.

                “What now, Kris?” She knew it was rude, but what else could he possibly want after watching her cry and absorbing most of her tears on that amazing shirt of his?

                “Gee, it’s nice to hear from you too.” There was no hint of annoyance in his tone. He in turn could care less that he’d become a human handkerchief.

                “Sorry.”

                “It’s all gravy, Amalia. I just wanted to make sure you were okay after what happened. You did jump from my moving vehicle,” he teased.

                “I’m alright, for now. As good as I could be, I guess.”

                “Good.”

                There was an awkward void. Amalia didn’t say a word and neither did Kris. She grew impatient and was just about to start watching the clock when he spoke up.

                “I like you, Amalia.”

                Amalia liked to call comments like that stating the obvious. Of course she knew that! A guy doesn’t make out with you within ten minutes of introduction, follow you around after school or let you cry into his shirt unless he really likes you. Unless of course he’s gay, which was a different story, but Amalia was pretty positive Kris was straight.

                “I know,” she stated simply before dissolving back into the spacious void.

                “I would hope so. Anyways, the reason I’m calling is because I realized something after you left. I never-“

                “Kris.” She had a feeling she didn’t want to hear it.

                “No, let me finish. I’ve never liked a girl as much as I like you. The other girls…I knew them forever and whatever we had was fake and just companionship I guess. I didn’t care about their problems and I didn’t stalk them at school. But with you, I do care.”

                He stopped. Had he come to the end of his practiced speech?

                “I just want you to know you aren’t getting rid of me anytime soon. I know you'll try your best, but just don't practice that victory dance too much.”

                This time the silence was much more prolonged. Apparently he was done, so Amalia took her turn.

                “That’s dandy and everything, but I don’t know why you care.”

                “I know you don’t. You will.” His voice turned her stainless steel resolve to butter. It was something she both loved and hated about him. How did he do that?

                “Err, okay.”

                “Would you like to have dinner with me Saturday night?” Kris’s voice was both determined and nervous; the nervous part being what threw Amalia off. He was always so sure. She decided to have her own fun.

                “I’ll let you know. Bye, Kris!”

                She hung up and had returned to math problems.

<<<>>>

 

                With her mind now back in the car, Amalia looked at her dad and began to think about what he and Molly’s first date had been like. She wondered how he’d asked her out and how excited her mom must have been. The entire aspect of her parents’ relationship befuddled her. When had Molly decided to cheat?

                “Dad?”

                “Yes, Bug?”

                She couldn’t ask him. If the answer was no, she would have to tell him herself and she’d made it clear to Molly that it was her job alone.

                “Nevermind.”

 

<<<>>> 

 

                The creek hadn’t been the same. Of course, the water and woods and smell were completely unchanged. It was Amalia who was different. Her mind was too worried with other predicaments to truly enjoy herself. It made her feel horrible because her dad tried so hard.

                He talked to her about everything under the sun, but her responses were half-hearted and rehearsed, as if she were a five year old child talking to a stranger. When he brought out the baseball and mitts to toss the ball with his daughter, she dropped most of the passes. If he hadn’t known something was up before, he definitely knew now.

                Amalia fought tears the whole way home. This feeling of needing to cry all the time unnerved her. It was something people on The Real World did, not her. In fact, she was rather unpracticed in the art of crying. The car ride home was silent; awkward had been redefined by this very moment. She was almost positive if she looked it up in the dictionary, she’d find all the unsaid words that hung in the dead air between them. She had never been more grateful to see her house.

                No Name ran up to her as soon as she stepped foot in the entryway, and nipped at her heels all the way up to her room. Amalia could hear her dad talking to Molly in the living room. She caught the words “Amalia” and “distracted”. Damn right she was distracted. No Name nudged and licked her hand, round puppy eyes bearing into her soul. Amalia was suddenly reminded of the dog from Anastasia, which was one of her favorite animated movies.

                “What do you think? Do you feel like a Pooka?”

                The adorable puppy licked her hand again, which Amalia took for a yes. Pooka it was, her trusty canine friend. Amalia cuddled with Pooka for a while, taking comfort in her warm fur. In reality, she knew Pooka couldn’t really protect her from anything quite yet, but she could protect her from losing her mind completely which was more than Amalia could really ask for.

                “WHAT?!”

                Amalia was jerked out of her half-sleep by an extremely angry voice. Her dad’s voice carried well. She knew this from when she had been six and taken all the cookies from the jar on the counter- her dad’s voice had been a powerhouse. Then, it had been loud to her. Now, however, it was beyond compare. There was no way…

                She quietly made her way down the stairs so she could hear better. Well, hear her mom anyways. People in Australia could hear her dad.

                “It was only one time, Sam.”

                No way. Her mother had told.

                “Okay! Do you really think I’m that naïve? No one who cheats on their spouse does it just once! They like the thrill of it, of maybe getting caught. Well, how does it feel, Molly!? Was it worth it?”

                “Of course not…” Molly’s attempts at sympathy were less than pathetic.

                “Molly… So this was why Amalia could barely look me in the eye today! She knew, and she didn’t want to hurt me. I can’t believe you let our daughter carry your disgusting secret around! How dare you put something like that on her?”

                “Do you think I meant to, Sam? Really? Do you think I’m that kind of person or that type of mother?”

                “I don’t know, Molly. You had this whole other life I didn’t know about, so maybe you are that kind of person! Jesus Christ!”

                Amalia silently listened, taking each word her parents said to each other right to heart. They had never fought in front of her because they thought it was bad for her self esteem or some psychological crap like that. Pooka had sat beside her and Amalia ran her hand absentmindedly through her fur.

                Molly was crying now. “Please, Sam. I’m sorry…so sorry. Don’t leave.”

                Leave? Had Amalia missed something?

                “It’s not enough to say you’re sorry. If you just killed someone’s family member, you don’t just say sorry- it won’t ever be what they want to hear. They want their family back. Guess what, Molly? Sorry isn’t enough when you tear apart a marriage and a family either.”

                Sam turned his back on Molly and fumed up the stairs, stopping slightly to look at Amalia. Tears were in his eyes. She’d never seen her dad cry and she didn’t like it. He stared at her for a second, and then made his way up to his and Molly’s room. She guessed it was just her mom’s room now. Molly was crying heavily, loud sobs filling the entire house (not an easy job). As Amalia sat in the midst of a potential family breakup, she wondered if her ultimatum had been the right thing and if she would have been more content to keep the terrible secret. No, her mind screamed at her as the iPod came out of her pocket. She had done the best thing possible. So why did she feel like her world was falling apart?

Author's Note

Don't know how much I like it. Basically a set up for things to come.

Reviews

[Shellie]

I like the way Molly has told her husband about the affair, in some stories after an ultimatum it carries on too long and theres excuse etc but your cutting to the chase and developing the storyline which i admire in writers. This was a brilliant chapter, you've done great so far and i dont know if its possible this story will get better but judging by all the previous chapters i know theres more good stuff to come.

[Sherika]

Your descriptions really highlights the emotions present through the eyes of Amalia very well, it also lets the reader identify with the characters, couldn't stop reading, i would love to know when add more to this. This is so good!

[Taylor H]

"Her thought process was kind of like this:" dont direct us, if you just went into italized font, we would know what it was.

vibrated in her pocket. "Hello?"----did we know she picked up the phone?


she agreed and was soon in her dad's car. "I'm so excited we're going back to the creek!" "Me too. I missed it," Amalia said.----that was a big jump....what just happened?


After she'd stomped off to her room feeling quite successful, Amalia had sat on her bed with no-name and started her homework.----what happened to the creek???


"Gee, it's nice to hear from you too." There was no hint of annoyance in his tone. He in turn could care less that he'd become a human handkerchief. "Sorry."----he sounded pretty annoyed to me...


this chapter was very confusing, jumpy and needs work with sentence structure....needs work... sorry

[Tim H]

Great character development. I'm wondering if Pooka is a real Pooka or just named for mischievousness. I'm wondering if the father would have just said that sorry isn't enough rather than his response. I like the dialogue very much. You also capture the teenage angst with a very believable easy flowing quality.

[Anthony]

Gah! Quit writing so well! XD You're story absorbed me at the start and i sit on the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter every time!

Great Job! Can't wait to read more!

10/10

[Bud]

If this is a sign of things to come, then I am certain it's going to be a hit! As always, your creativity and Talent is impeccable. Keep up the Outstanding work, Stephanie! 10/10 S&V ; >)

[Flo_writer]

Well contrary to you being on the fence about it, I enjoyed it. Except for the name Pooka, lol. A little exciting substance in this chapter. Everything was well played, down to the argument I found believable. Except for the dad crying though, but that might just be cause I myself am a hardass, lol. I didn't find any mistakes or anything bad to say about this. All is well and ends well, sadly not for Amalia. But buck up kiddo, at least you got a date outta this one!

[deeps]

I really like this write alot
You did an amazing job with this story.
Wonderfully written.
I hoep there is more

[Owl]

Pooka's an interesting name.

Y'know, this sucks me in more than I'd like - and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. I care what happens to the characters, and that isn't right. I feel like I should go do something manly after reading this. People might mistake me for being sensitive.

(That's all a cryptic compliment, by the way.)

Oh, and:

"They had never fought in front of her because they thought it was bad for her self esteem or some psychological crap like that."

That's brilliantly cynical.