Serpentine

 How does it feel to know your an illusion?

And every smile you stretch with guile heeds to resolutions.

Your serpent tongue spits distortion in a web of dismal fusion.

You are nothing behind your cover up, your lace of dust, your fictitious sinking mud.

This barricade you build

with blood from others stolen and spilled

will halt any truthful intrusion.

A mirror of vanity, twisted and distorted, shooting shrapnel of seclusion.

You are nothing to me now but a fragment of a person.

Reviews

[fireblossom]

Healthy, transitional poetry. Now move on!

:-)

Very well put though these two lines tripped me up...probably because I don't have a great vocabulary:

And every smile you stretch with guile heeds to resolutions. (resolutions- resolving something? or firmness of purpose?)
Your serpent tongue spits distortion in a web of dismal fusion. (dismal- do you mean lacking hope? or depressing to ones outlook? fusion- do you mean the blending of two things? do you mean heating and liquefying?)

I love the music of the words but the vision blurs there.

All-in-all a really sharp and healthy poem.

[Kelley]

didn't "Stained" write a song called this?
Anyway loved you train of thought on this piece.
I really loved the line.......

"A mirror of vanity, twisted and distorted, shooting shrapnel of seclusion."

Thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[Rachel DeHart]

You say you love my style, but I am entralled by yours!
I am envious of these lines
"This barricade you build
with blood from others stolen and spilled
will halt any truthful intrusion."

I for some reason think of the movie 300, when they build the wall of bodies. I love this poem.

[Arthur Crow]

Absolutely facinating.. this is cleverly scribed and I enjoyed the flow here. Excellent word choices. Thought provoking, I love it!

[Every1s_psychotic_vampy..]

I'm only sixteen, so as I read this I could easily imagin a few people at my high school.
People who are fake and only live to hurt others.
But I laugh at them once they have nothing after high school.
Great poem.
=]