Personal Ads

This is a humorous poem based on a short story.

I go through the personal ads

and what do I see?

An obese, neurotic astronaut wants

to go out with me

I turn to the next page and

it gets even worse

A malnourished, socially inept cop

who doesn't go out much

Finding love is a real curse

There's a paranoid rock star

with a bad knee

Why does it always have to be me

A cowardly, karate teacher with

severe vertigo

Maybe I should just take it slow

A disorganized man with a bad bladder

I'd rather go out with the Mad Hatter

Why do I even try?