Fat People

I am always happy 
And in a cheerful mood, 
When I look up and see my plate 
Filled with lots of food. 

I pick my teeth in public, 
And I am very rude. 
There’s stretch marks on my elbows 
‘Cause I eat lots of food. 

My friends are laughing at me; 
They’re calling me a fool; 
They say I’ll have a heart attack 
If I keep eating food. 

They scorn and ridicule me, 
But I ain’t gonna brood; 
‘Cause they don’t seem to understand 
That I’m in love with food! 

I eat food when I’m sleeping, 
And when I’m wide awake-- 
Even when I’m on the pot 
I’ve got to have my steak. 

Mashed potatoes and gravy, 
Salad and things to chew, 
Soup and bread and beans and fruit 
And cheese that stinks--pee-you. 

Mostaciolli, pizza pie, 
Tuna fish and pickles, 
When that food goes down my throat 
It just slides and tickles. 

Cornish hens and hot beef stew, 
A smelly seafood plate, 
Liver sausage sandwiches-- 
There ain’t a food I hate! 

My stomach hurts. I’ve got the cramps. 
I need some food right now. 
Although I ate an hour ago 
I still need lots more chow. 

Good man, kind sir, 
Dear lady dressed in blue, 
Have some pity on my soul 
And pass that tray of food. 

Pass it if it’s hot or cold, 
Even if it’s stale. 
Even though my belly’s full 
I could eat a whale. 

Pass it if it’s cooked or raw, 
I don’t give a damn. 
Food is food is what I say, 
Let’s have that case of Spam. 

Polish sausage, Quiche Lorraine, 
Chicken Cacciatore, 
If you don’t give me lots more food, 
Things may get kind of gory. 

Apple pies and chocolate malts, 
Some pudding and whipped cream. 
Gimme me lots more food to eat 
Or I’ll turn very mean. 

I’ll sit on youse, you silly fools 
So don’t push me too hard. 
If you don’t want to suffocate 
You’ll pass that tub of lard. 

Now pass those plates and pass them now-- 
Don’t bother saying grace. 
Just keep that food a comin’ in 
And watch me stuff my face. 

Chomp, chomp, chomp; chew, chew, chew�" 
To eat is so much fun. 
If I keep going on this way 
I’ll weigh at least a ton. 

I’ll sit on chairs and break them all. 
I’ll cave in great big floors. 
I’ll break down lots of walls my friends; 
I won’t fit through the doors. 

Some will laugh, but I don’t care; 
I don’t give a damn. 
While they’re telling stupid jokes 
I’ll be eating ham. 

Skinny people laugh at me; 
They think it’s really funny 
That all I do is eat all day 
And have a big fat tummy. 

They say that I should exercise, 
That I should jog and run. 
They think because they’re thin and lean 
That they’re the handsome ones. 

They say that if I exercise 
That I’ll lose lots of weight, 
And that will make it easier 
To find a sexy mate. 

What they don’t seem to understand 
Is that don’t interest me. 
I just want food and lots of it, 
It’s this that they don’t see. 

Slobber, slobber, slobber, 
Jesus ain’t it fun, 
To stuff your mouth with food all day 
And be a big fat bum. 

It’s so much fun to eat all day, 
To eat and eat and eat. 
How thrilled I am when I look down 
And I can’t see my feet. 

See, I don’t care, I don’t care-- 
Who gives a damn right now. 
I don’t want health. I don’t want looks-- 
I just want lots more chow. 

So youse can do your exercise-- 
That ain’t stuff for me. 
I’ll just sit at home all day 
And eat and watch TV. 

Go jog you fools, you skinny things, 
Go out and jog and run. 
‘Cause I’ll be eating food all day, 
To me that’s lots more fun. 

And have your sex you skinny twigs, 
I ain’t gonna brood. 
While you’re scuzzing up the sheets 
I’ll be eating food. 

I think I’ve said enough by now. 
Goodbye you skinny dude. 
Chomp, chomp, chomp; chew, chew, chew; 
I’m in love with food! 

Reviews

[SuicidePact.]

Normally I turn away from long poems because I find i get distracted. But this piece I couldn't stop reading. This was very interesting, and I couldn't help but remember certain people who I know that are exactly like this. I really thought this was amazing.

[C.C. Marx]

Finding condolence it fatty foods is a common problem. They eat away there feelings, which is sad and not at all beneficial. Nice poem great write

[Underestimated]

This was delightful and humorous in every way. I agree with SuicidePact, this poem held my interest to the very end. Although....what I don't understand is are you trying to say. Are you insulting or praising? Overall, this was a real treat for the reader.

[Tabitha t]

Even though I found a poem about fat people a little bit mean and kind of disturbing the way you wrote it was full of humor and I couldnt stop reading it even if I found it tasteless( actually quiet tasty but still)

[Madeline]

mmm I love food!!! :3 I'm always hungry yet I don't gain an ounce!! xD

[Sunflower]

I can think of people just like this. *cough* *cough* ERW

[julespinkyd]

This poem reminds me of Shel Silverstein. What I wonder was your inspiration, a person or people?

[freelancejouster]

my kingdom for another poem like this. hilarious.

[Kiara]

Hahaha. :) This was great :)

[Erin]

Lol I like this I enjoyed it funny funny