Chapter Twenty Two- Final Loose Ends

2 October 2010
5:30 pm

I sit silently on the couch, looking at the door intently. Waiting for Amber to come walking in, coming to me with her smile and provocative gate. Kissing my forehead lovingly. Acting as if this will last forever, as if we will have a married life with children and commitment of love. But that is her dream. Her fantasy of what we could be together. The reality is that we are both killers, but she kills helpless, self-destructive men who only want a second chance. As a rule I cannot allow that to happen.

My fingers roll the full, capped syringe. Waiting to be used and begin the event. The event that will define myself and my purpose.

"Think you can do this?"

"I have no choice, Edward. The mayor is out of the way and next is Amber. It is my duty and purpose to destroy these senseless killers."

"So Amber is senseless than?" he asks, standing in front of me.

"No. But she is a killer. I made a vow to myself to kill the people who kill for self-indulgence, no matter the relationship. Amber is indeed my lover, but I must not allow this fact to contradict my purpose- to make exceptions to rul-"

"What rules? Your rules? Man's rules? I love how you try to find righteousness in what you do Jack. It is that humanistic element isn't it? The portion of us that force out rational reasons on why what we do is right. Why we should be accepted by society no matter who we are."

I stay silent a moment, locking a hard stare with Edward.

"Why I kill grants me no higher pedestal than that of other killers. I feel that I am doing a greater good. I feel that my intentions are true and humanistic in their actions. I am not as low and self-loathing as the seventy or so lives I have taken. I can provide excuses Edward, you know that for a fact. But it comes down to the fact that... I like it... It is a demon I am attached to and a demon I want to leave behind. Amber will be my last and then I will leave. I will drop off the face of the earth. I will leave all that I have behind and... Forget all that I have and have had. I want to move on."

The click of tumblers interrupts our conversation. The door swings open, Amber walks through with her apron and coat over her left arm. Removing her key she sets her stuff down on the kitchen table and walks over to me, kissing my forehead. The cap is pushed off, taking the moment and sticking the needle into her neck. Amber jolts back, hand instantly covering the left side of her neck. Silently I stand up and catch her before she falls.

"Just breath, it will be over in a minute," I speak softly, tears running from the outer corner of my left eye.

Her eyes close, hand drops and her head falls back. I look softly upon her with trembling hands. Wondering if what I am about to do is the right thing. Not that I haven't killed women before, but I've never come upon them in a relationship before. Never showed them the true me. The me behind the closed doors of my public life. I've never shared anything so deeply with a women before...

7:32 pm

I sit in a chair from the deserted alley. Amber across from me, mouth taped closed with her wrist and ankles bounded to another chair at the arm rests and legs. Her head slowly rises, eyes squinted as they adjust to the dull lighting and new scenery. I watch through my mask, my gloved, interlocked hands resting on my left thigh.

"Evening, Amber. I know what you're are thinking and feeling. I'm going through the same thing... But the problem is, I can't let my emotions guide me from my duty." I stand up and walk to her, crouching down in front of her to place a hand on her cheek. "You see, I really did mean each time I said I love you. And I still do, but the love was from the connection of killing. A love and passion born and made of blood. To live with the idea that you kill for a reason that is wild and not... Fit to what I have in mind..."

I stand up again and lower the rope I left dangling from the fire escape. Placing it over her head I pull to make it snug. Removing my knife from its sheath I come back to face her, pointing it at her throat.

"If you make this harder, I will not hesitate to kill you painfully. I am going to release you and rebind your hands, then you will stand up on the chair. Got it?"

With a defeated expression she nodded and lowered her head. I cut the tape, allowed her to stand so I could bind her wrist with a zip tie from my pocket. Amber gets up on the chair, tears now pouring from her eyes, body jolting from the suffocated sobs. With tears in my own eyes, I return to the rope and secure it. I stand in front of her for the last time and remove my mask.

"Amber Cromwell, I have and always will love you. Forgive me," and as fast as I could I kicked the chair from under her, hearing a loud snap shortly after and short, high scream.

I stand in silence, staring at the chair in an effort not to look at her. Edward comes next to me, resting a hand on my right shoulder.

"It had to be done. You know it did."

I stay silent, collect my bag and leave Amber spinning silently.