Sarah

I don't like these soul collections. I have this feeling of fear and uncertainty. A feeling of unpredictability. I never know what I am going to expect or what's going to happen. Walking in and not knowing your situation is dangerous in my job, it's worse than not knowing who you are.

Suicides were always a tough situation.

Here I stand outside the door, my black, pin-stripe suit reflecting in the glass door. My body over taken with a chill, whether it is from fear or the soul I cannot tell. But my instincts want to be no where near here. I have no choice.

I reach out to the door knob, ice cold, and I twist it to open the door. A long, low creek eco through the still and stagnant air. My breath turns white as I enter the silent home. The scene seems to have a gray setting, all bright, florid colors turn prosaic and unhappy. Being here overwhelms me with a sense of depression and sadness. I ignore it and press on, taking a glance to the room on my right i notice her right away. Twisting and swaying silently above a tipped over wooden chair. A pale blue sun dress drapes over her cold, blue body, making this moment even more sad.

Approaching her I carefully reach out and tough her forearm.

"AAAHHHHHHH!" her soul screams and pushes me back the five paces to the door. "GET OUT! GET OUT!" she yells.

I sit up on my elbows, looking at her body from a lounging position. Standing up I pull my suit jacket down and take a deep breath; I advance again, slowly.

"Sarah, it is okay. I'm not here to harm you, I'm here to help. I want to help you move on," my paces slow and thoughtful. "Sarah?" I touch her body again; the soul left. I look around in a frantic for her. A loose soul is dangerous, it can harm or leave and I could lose her. "Sarah, please come out," I turn around slowly and see her huddled in the right corner of the room. Moving so I am completely facing her, I stand still and lock eyes with her, "I am not going to hurt you," I smile.

"But I am not going to heaven," her voice scared and nervous.

"I know you're not. And I know why you did it. Those girls at school, day in and day out tormenting you with names and practical jokes. This was a permanent solution for a temporary problem, a decision I cannot change."

"But it's not my fault! They did it!" Sarah snaps.

"Sarah I know and I understand, but this is not something I can control."

She looked down and did not move. This is what breaks my heart every time I have to deny a soul and eternal life. I am only a transporter, not an Archangel, I don't get to make those decisions.

"Well maybe you should stand up to them," Sarah says abruptly.

I look at her with curious, shocked eyes.

"Yes I heard your thoughts. You should do something about it Death. You know us better then most of them up there, you know when our humanity really shows and when we, as individuals, have been the best we can be. Why not do something?"

I step back; she pinning their fate on me. She wants me to make a moral choice on their lives, make they case for them.

"Sarah, I'm not one of your advocates, I am a transporter of souls. I would be more than happy to plead for you, but I can only bring you there..."
         Her head lowers in sadness. I carefully walk forward and place a hand softly on her shoulder. She does not move, but begins to sob in response to the touch.

"I know Sarah, but I can only bring you there. I really do wish I could do more..."

She nods in silence and stands up, I rise with her and embrace her in a hug, tears making wet areas on my suit. Not the first time either. Kissing the top of her head I say y pray and bring us to St. Peter. I open my eyes and find us standing right in front of him, a cold and stern expression rested on his face.

"Peter-"

"You know the rules and your position on the matter. Let us handle it," his tone authoritative.

I lower my head, my eyes meeting Sarah's, "Forgive me, Sarah. But Saint Peter will take care of you from here."

Taking a step back I let her go, watching her walk away with him. Sadness sets into my chest, knowing that it is out of my control.

Reviews

[J.Carnevale]

again, in in tears. so much emotion and love.