Lay awake

               Every night I go to sleep different, Just another thought in this world. I have a closet of dreams inside my head waiting to come out.. I always thought of the glass with air in it, Never full and never empty. I wish I could sleep tonight, or I wish I beleved in some killer sleeping pill that would knock my a*s out already. I love to dream, (I can do anything there). I am only 23 my mother says, (Why can't you be more like your sister Genesis) Girly is what she means and not so strange. My sister loves girly this and girly that. I can't help it that I want to go down to the railroad tracks and smash pennys. I can't help it that I put lil strange words in a scrap book that say (Finally a way to keep a monkeys head alive Forever). My Mother bought me a dress the other day, it was pink with lil ruffels (UGLY). So I went out and bought a dress it has sculls on it ha ha now what mom? She was upset I wore it to my grand parents dinner they were upset FUNNY..... But yet everynight I lie awake thinking about this should I be who I am or I should I be who she wants me to be? Shes says to make a statement you have to act a certain way in society, Well s**t kiddies what can I say (Maybe some day). I have a son and he likes me this way.. I take him to do all the things that a Father is supossed to do (Cuz he don't have one of thoes).. But its cool, I don't understand love and I don't want to be just another pretender.. I love you such strong words something I have never been able to say except for to my mommy and my kids:) I don't understand it.. My Mother says (When are you going to get married?) I say hopefully when I'm ment to, and the time is right and I really do love them, not just something said out of emptyness. I wish to be loved, not just them saying to me I love you sheba and I say why? And they say Because you are so beautiful, now do you love me because I am beautiful or am I beautiful because you love me? What if I was bald, would you love me then? Just some random person shaved me bald in a alley way all quick like Indian style ha ha funny. No more hair for Sheba. Or what if I had no Eye Brows looking some what like Pink Floyd, Well then what? Would you love me eye browless? Yeah Love I don't take it for granet. But yet I still lie awake longing for it. Wishing that there was someone like me. Just a lil strange person lieing awake at night, thinking of nothingness, Wishing to sleep cuz I know I will find you there. 

Reviews

[KlineXcreed]

I like the thought you put into it. However, I think you should explain some of you're thoughts. I feel like it is a passionate attack of emotions, rather than a well written piece of art. Sit down and make sure your writing is clear. However I love the ideas!