prologue

                                                               

                                                                   Prologue

 

                              It rained and rained. The storm was rising on and on. He had no place to go. He ran from here to there.  Crying for help and searching for shelter.  But the streets were lonely and the town was empty.  The wind was howling and it chased him where ever he went. Soaking wet in the rain he ran from house to another house, door to door knocking as loudly as he could but no one answered.  He felt as if someone was following him so he turned around every single time but no one was there. The horror of the night was killing him slowly and slowly and he was getting tired with every step he took, with every scream that he cried for help. With lost hope he walked down the street with tears rolling down his cheeks. He no more fought with the force against him. He surrendered and gave up the hope that he would be safe and sound anymore.

                                   The rain was pouring hard on his body, drop of rain dripping down his chins to his chest and to the ground, he no more felt the fear. He knew it was his time to leave his body and to be ruthlessly murder by his enemies. As he reached the middle of the road he feel on his knees praying this nightmare would be soon over. Suddenly the street light was on and he found himself on the spotlight making him easily visible but he was totally blinded. But again he didn’t force himself to get up and to run away. He was tired of this game of hide and seeks. Now all he wanted was get over with this and to get some peace. Then he saw a shadow nearing towards him. He could smell the rage of the soon to be his murderer. The shadow now turned into a figure of man with a knife but he couldn’t see his face. He tired a lot to focus but his eyes were weak now. He could just see a male figure standing there in front of him. He wanted to see his face; he wanted to know who that heartless beast was trying to kill him. He wanted to know whose heart had he broken that much that the person wanted him to suffer to death. With his final strength he whispered “kill me” and collapsed on the concrete ground.  Soon he felt a sharp pain in his palm of his left hand and he cried as loudly as he could. Then the sharp pain came from his right shoulder. Then he felt the rapid jolts of thunder around his back. He felt that his body was being attacked by thousand of swords and that it was not stopping at all. He wished that he could just fell asleep but he couldn’t he could feel the pain and that was not letting him close his eyes. As the monster was attacking him he thought how beautiful his life was, how perfect life he lived and soon enough he didn’t feel the pain.

                                He was now lost in his own world of memories. Memories of his mother who loved with all her heart. He remembered the time when she used to feed him with here own hands. He was a total mamma’s boy and he was proud of  that.  He was worried what would life be for her to bury her own child without even seeing him live properly. He thought of his dad and his brother. Though he and his brother were twins nothing was similar between them. One could easily point out difference between them. He thought that his brother and his dad were so alike. The same tone in their voice. The same grin when they smiled and there same habits. He wondered what they would do. Whom would dad call from office to help him with his grammar? Whom would his brother go to when he had problems with his life at school?  Than he felt that he had so much to do. This was not his time to go. He had an unfinished story to complete. He realized that he had his first date the next day with this girl who was his crush for a year. Finally after lots of practice and watching the movies he had gained enough courage to ask her out and when he had she was delighted and said yes. He felt his heart sinking. He saw her face smiling looking at him and suddenly it faded away and he remembered how he got here.

             

Reviews

[Aaron]

Gripping start to the story. Great for a prologue.
First note.
ruthlessly murder to ruthlessly murdered?

The last paragraph slows the intensity of the story down to a halt. The intensity for the first two paragraphs are great and pulls me into the story. That last paragraph is interesting and probably valuable but I'd transplant part of that into a later chapter. Of course, you know if that works for your story better than I do.

Ultimately, the story is still gripping and I'm very curious to see where it goes.

[Starlit Dhrub]

well thank you for your comment...wanted to give a hint on what was coming up in another chapter

[♪Barklight♪]

Wow, that's a great story starlit! It was fast passed and grim in the start and after wards introduces the character and leads into the story. A few grammer errors but a really good structure! ^_^
-Barklight

[Ees]

Of course it was raining?
How come these never start out on a clear chilly night under a crystalline sky? Sorry. I couldn't help myself. Of course the rain is much more mysterious... but does it have to be?
I love this sentence: "The wind was howling and it chased him where ever he went."-wonderful.
"Soaking wet in the rain he ran from house to another house, door to door knocking as loudly as he could but no one answered."- take out the "another" perhaps. maybe write it as:
Soaking, in the rain, he ran from one house to the next, loudly knocking on doors that no one answered.
does that sound a little more simple?

You've mixed up a number of tenses, but reviewing and reading it out loud, you should be able to catch them.

Overall I think this works as a prologue. People will read more.

[Starlit Dhrub]

thanks alot

[RachelReaper]

*goosesbumps going up arms*

[Starlit Dhrub]

hahaha....thanks

[Moon]

I love it ! You are very skilled .

[Starlit Dhrub]

thank you

[Dominique]

Wow. I can't wait for the rest.

[Starlit Dhrub]

will soon update it

[Dominique]

Yay! I cannot wait :)

[frivolous treasures]

Chilling and quite gripping I must say. This was really good, but maybe it'd be a bit easier to read if it was broken into paragraphs? I don't know, I have dyslexia so things in one big block gets a bit difficult for me :P
But otherwise, very well done... can't wait for more :)

[Starlit Dhrub]

thank you so much!!!!!!!!!! yes i have broken it to paragraphs ..thanks for the suggestion

[frivolous treasures]

You are very welcome ^^ anytime.

[Starlit Dhrub]

what do you think??????