High Tide

Something I wrote after a night without sleep.

Sometimes, I fight tears that crash down like tidal waves, 
aligning onto a shoreline that happens to be my face,
one for every time, I had to be extremely brave 
each wave carrying a memory I wish I could erase.

Waves sweep gracefully onto the shores of my cheeks 
washing up heavily, as they continued to leak.

The waves find a way to turn into oddly high tides,
pooling under my chin and falling faster from my eyes, 
gathering each thought that I felt strong enough to hide,
all while numbing the emotions; too preoccupied with my thighs.

The tide rises rapidly, then down the front of my chest 
I keep thinking about how my life is a complete mess.

Sometimes, I battle many thoughts that always sting,
suffocating me in an agonizing pain, I beg for an escape;
releasing the monster that, I’ve kept imprisoned within,
Fall apart, put together; salted waves destroy my duct tape.

Pen and paper; clean and strong, I’m able to confide,
earthquakes of emotion erupted and……as I wrote, I cried.

A tide so strong it stains the page thin and oh so weak,
Its weight crushed under the waves that continue to stream,
Sometimes it’s so overwhelming that I dare not speak………
a fear so strong that reality should be a dream.

Because so many thoughts keep rushing through my mind,
all. the. f*****g. time. 
My brain, needs a redesign.

None of the words in this world can describe; how I feel 
on days when I don’t even want to get out of bed,
some seem harder to get dressed and eat a single meal,
then there are the days where I’m barely hanging by a thread.

Days a lot easier to choose feeling nothing at all
or to disappear into something insignificant and small.

“Lessen yourself and the thoughts will stop!” the voice cried,
Needing a safe place to reflect; I listened to my head,
Voila!…and the thoughts were satisfied,
trapped so deep inside, I tried so hard but never fled.

I fill space that I am not at all entitled to,
Hunting for a perfection that is not worth the pursuit.

Let’s just say that if you spent ONE second in my mind,
You would never come back because of what you’d find.

So autopilot: on; I must get through today,
lying about all my feelings because I’m NOT okay.

Wiping the tide with paper tissue; I grow brave,
because sometimes, I fight tears that,
crash down,
like
tidal waves.

Author's Note

What did you think?

Reviews

[Moka George Mike]

awesome great piece....

sleepless nigths

feelings

ouch!

great stuff

[Samantha Tamburello]

Imagery is spot on. I love this. Great work!!!!! :D

[Starfish Enya]

Thank you! :)