11:11 I love you

the day I lost my husband

On 11/11 at 11 am you called to me
with fear in your voice and a pain in your head
strength was turning to weakness
as your body attacked you
your insides in pain
try to stay calm babe try just to breath
like a movie I watch
paramedics and ambulances
doctors and nurses scurry about
no answers
confusion
tubes
blood
tests
pain
tears
surreal as I sit near a hospital bed
holding your hand
talking to you
hoping you can hear me
please hear me say
“you come back to me ok”
I watch machines breath for you
machines do everything for you
I feel as helpless as you look
A chaplain says peaceful words
as I dont understand what is happening
I feel you cross over at 11pm
I feel my soul lift with yours
I hold your hand
as you take your last guttural breath
dont know how to walk away from you
kiss your head
kiss you lips
ask for your wedding ring
tears that never end
husband for always
love always wifey
11/11 I love you more

Reviews

[promisedtothetides]

Such a visceral read, I am so sorry for your loss. This was beautiful.

[Sara Mercury]

11:11 is the code for "soulmates." FYI

This really got to me. I've recently gotten married within the last decade, and it's rather late in life, so this poem really resonates with me. I've seen my share of death in my life; even the death of a child, and one lover, but an actual spouse of a number of years, not yet...

So this sort of gives me a little glimpse into the future...

Thank you for that ...

S. Mercury

[Ghost writer]

that's sweet and sad, love the 11:11 idea and you used it well, it's unique which I really like cause it's so rare.

[ZakLeonRamsey]

What a sad story and I am sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace and may good luck be brought to you :)
I am sorry to hear of this unfortunate event.

[Desert Rose]

i'm sorry for your loss..
may he rest in peace...11:11..

[Urja Gokani]

i loved your poem.the words you used were incredible.i am sorry for your loss.but actually my birthday is on 11th of november

[Jennifer Elizabeth]

I'm in awe of your writing. Hauntingly beautiful. I've dealt with a loss of a parent back in 2009. The pain never leaves but I've find reading poetry and writing help me as I'm sure it does with you as well. Thank you for allowing your heart to show in writing. - Jen

[Patricia B. Hepler]

Again, very powerful. Again, thank you for sharing your soul~~ pat

[Christina]

I am desperately sorry for your loss. I won't say that I understand, because everyone handles things differently. I will just say to remember the greatest times. Treasure them. Protect them. Let yourself be angry. Let yourself be sad. Let yourself be happy. Any emotion you feel is OKAY, and you need not have anyone validate them.

[Legolas]

Im so sorry. This is heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing.
One small grammar issue: 17th last line: breathe*