Almost Everything

I feel posessed to the point where I can't control myself anymore

Nothing I do is right

I'm never good enough

I'm just a f**k up

Even when I try, everything goes wrong

The more I try, the more I f**k up

And I'm always trying

Because I want to be perfect

And make up for my mistakes

 

I try without expecting anything in return

But I do receive something

Criticism

The last thing anyone would expect

I am already beginning to expect it

Because it's all  I ever get

Except for the random occasion

Where I feel the love that everybody deserves

For a brief moment

 

It never lasts long

And doesn't happen as often as I need

So I'm used to the criticism

Isn't that sad?

But that's what I have to put up with if I even have a chance of getting what I want

 

That feeling of letting you down is worse than the criticism

But those two come hand in hand

Unlike us

But only in the literal sense

I like to believe we come heart in heart

Even if you disagree

I would like to believe that you feel the way I feel

In the figurative sense at least

 

I need more than I can ask of you

I'm sorry for putting on the pressure

But this is honesty

I cannot change how I feel

Nothing can change it

All I lack is the confidence, knowledge, and comprehension

Please let me do everything for you

The criticism is killing me