On the Other Side

Indulged by my faults, I’m held on by a thread 

Forced down my throat, tied around my stomach
And there’s something pulling, squeezing it tighter
I’m bursting at the seams, on the brink of destruction
Making me sick with despair, heaving out my sanity

I’ll fight it ‘til my dying breath, but I fear I lack the strength to overcome

Whatever is on the other end, I suspect it holds affection for me
Pulling me in to bring me close, unaware of the pain it causes
Attempting to comfort, but causing more hurt
Reaching for guidance, and finding me damaged by its own doing

I’m tied in knots of misfortune and loss, bound to a debt of failure

As I try to pull away, the line tugs me in closer
But to cut the thread, it would sever a part of me
The sensation is unfavourable, but I ask myself if the sacrifice is necessary
If I die wholesome or live informed, I know not which option is worse

Whether I’m victim or perpetrator, it remains unknown

Too long I’ve accepted my sufferance, creating a pattern of distress
My loving aggressor unable to drop the strand it holds, dreading my disconnection
My forgiveness considered by intention, as being unaware of its misconduct
Seeing me as the assailant, yet clinging to what it grasps

I sear my insides as I burn the thread, drawing the line in the sand