The Path of Becoming

Am I trying hard enough?
I believe the universe is testing me
Am I doing what is required to learn the lessons placed before me?
Am I staying on the path that will lead me to succeed?
Am I suffering through these grave misfortunes in just the right way?
Or are all my decisions made just a series of mistakes?
I gave in to belief that the cosmos has a plan
But how does it account for the free will to choose wrong?
Creating branches of decisions
All possibilities infinitely splintering off
In the timelines of existence am I the one who comes out best?
Compared to the illimitable others, where do I stand?
Have my failures pushed me forward or has my trauma held me back?
Is the track that I follow on direct course to my path?
Have I misjudged my direction?
Am I so far adrift I can never return?
How can I know what are the right mistakes to make, the right things to choose?
With endless opportunities there are endless ways to get it wrong
The plan is set, but is it mine to fulfill?
The grand design is problematic behind an unending and chaotic multiverse
I'll never know what steps to take and must give all control to random chance
All decisions are meaningless when the outcome cannot be known
So I must take a calculated guess to make the best of what I can
Live by my instincts to shape this life into something worthy
To honour this version of myself and let circumstance flow through me
Let the chaos guide me
If I am one to fail, then it is inevitable
Impossible to salvage