A Contradiction of Psychological Desires

I have gladly settled in a position
Content with where the standards lie
Yet in times of need for validation and warmth
I have given in to a weakness
Wishing for what is convenient and immediate
But always unattainable
The subject is immaterial
But relevant to what fits my ideal desires
Particularly if my desire is inaccessible
Constantly trapped in wanting what I cannot have
The unavailable perfectly fitting my criteria
Perhaps my criteria is the unavailable
My history of never gaining what I covet
Having conditioned what I expect to receive
Consciously deciding that I prefer something else
Something healthy and natural
Yet unable to control the deep reflections of my subconscious
Powerless to contain it
Knowing on the surface I would be happier with the current situation
But hindering myself by the innermost layers of my psyche
I am in favour the boundaries set in place
But often unable to accept them
Repeatedly incapable of making the connection as to the reason I feel this way
Lost to the whims of my deep-rooted longing
Idealizing the subject of my unintended pining 
Romanticizing the intrinsic flaws of my plight

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

The speaker describes a classic "grass is always greener on the other side" situation. Usually, when we become more accepting of ourselves, these situations fade away.