Dada

about a special girl..her name is Senada and she likes to be called Dada even though I prefer her real name haha

 

Is it not that warm smile that makes the sun jealous

Is it not that deep soul that oceans envy

Is it not that majestic beauty that Meryl Streep wishes

For all I know she is as hot as the most sizzling volcanic lava

Her body scent does not even measure to the best human made Prada

I roamed the world and had them all but haven’t yet met someone like Senada

Her warm smile might as well heal the sun’s wounds but let that sun learn she likes to be called Dada!

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Apart from the fact that Line 4 sounds like you're referring to Meryl Streep (which by the way, Line 3 should read "....for which Meryl Streep wishes), this is actually a spectacular ode to this angel. That last line really knocked it over the park. In a way, it undermines the first line, in another way it doesn't, but it definitely packed the hardest punch. Well done!

[Leo]

glad you like it and thanks for the constructive criticism..i'll take a look at it

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.

[lightsong]

Senada or Dada... what it's about is the sweet words You show her :) well my friend You can privately call her (Senada) that would be specialty :)

Yes, I understand from Your words, both the romantic pure and the strong passionate love You do need and want both, sometimes it's not the big and long lines we need, but the few words coming from our hearts with sincere feelings, and I bet that Your (Senada) had a REAL big smile on her face :D

[Leo]

she did ;)..thanks for your time and glad you liked it :)

[.]

i love the use of nature and vivid picture good job

[Leo]

Thanks for your feedback

[...]

I am sure if you send this poem to Merryl . She will be very happy.

[Leo]

haha I love that woman :)

[boygene borice]

For all I know she is as hot as the most sizzling volcanic lava
Her body scent does not even measure to the best human made Prada
These two lines could make a soul ache in love and get lost in complete romance

[Leo]

Thanks borice..glad you liked it

[Stan Lee]

NICE! Bet she liked this poem! "sizzling volcanic lava" is a pretty hot description!! :)

[Leo]

Just saw this..thanks Adronicus

[Valette]

Interesting poem...
I would, however, suggest a few revisions:
change "that" in the first 3 lines to "the"
5th line, omit the word "body" (scent does just fine without a modifier)
and the last line, "heel" is the back part of the foot. The word, "heal" is what you're looking for here. Also, I would recommend re-writing the last line to something stronger...
Perhaps something like...?
Her smile can warm the icy touch of the deepest despair,
And shine with a bright glory that any sun would envy.

[Leo]

Thank you for your thoughtful and constructive criticism..I'll definitely look into it

[Georgina Cross]

Very nice writing, keep it up!

[Leo]

Thank you Georgina

[Miss Sharon]

She sounds like a very special lady...you paint a vivid picture with your words! ~Sharon

[Leo]

Thanks for stopping by..best

[wordman]

a sweet tribute to a beautiful lady !

[Leo]

Thanks word man!