Schizophrenic

Your soul I shall steal,
Your heart I shall take
Your wounds shall not heal,
Your bones all shall break
Your pain shall be endless,
Your time shall be mine
Your thoughts shall be a mess,
Your muscles shall never unwind
I am the keeper of your glares,
I am the one who holds the key
I am your worst nightmare,
I am YOU and you shall never be free.

Reviews

[RDOriginal]

This is an interesting piece of self-examination from the viewpoint of someone trapped with a mental illness.

I think the key feature of the poem is the way in which it is split into two clear sections. Firstly there is a series of lines beginning with the word 'your'. These act to describe a series of punishments or problems that the narrator feels they suffer from. Secondly the tone introduced by the next series of lines beginning 'I am' give the illness a personality and intent of its own. Doing this means that we see two aspects of the problem - the effect on the sufferer and the insiduous nature that makes it difficult to escape from.

The final line of the poem, 'I am YOU and you shall never be free' is particularly memorable as it shows the depths of despair that has driven the narrator to abandon all hope.

This poem sheds a personal light on what some might consider to be a taboo issue and does it very well.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

You have captured the emotions of fear and doubt. Congrats on your great winning poem.

[Inci]

beautiful poem

[Art Sun]

A nightmarish view...

[Awdures]

So strong and believable it's verging on the scary!

[Ruth]

A really good feel of the topic here in this hon, is can feel like you are the prisonere, awesome work!
xx

[Fallacy Pharmacy]

Strong and frightening, like the mind of a schizophrenic; yet somehow enchanting, strangely fascinating and welcoming. Well done, this is another great poem :)

[Black Cat Fever]

This sounds very frightening. The mind at war with itself. I think this poem is outstanding!

[Carolina Kel]

Short and very to the point. Something a lot of people can relate to at one point or another in their lives.
Very well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

The battle to defeat inner demons can be difficult to defeat. I like the strength of each line adding up to a very strong ending. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote