Lost Soul Mate

not even sure if I can dig this poem. True events and I am not exactly thrilled

When we got together I thought you were my soul mate,
Yet over time we both have laid out the bait
Then both of us have taken it as I lie in misery,
A deep rooted sadness has fallen over me
As you hit the point of no return,
I'm the one who ended up burned
As the words left your lips of wanting me to die,
I found no sadness as I was too angry inside
It was said out of anger and pure hate,
Today is the day we find out if we should stay together to sate
If the one true love in this world is gone,
I'm done with dating and I can guarantee you this a ton
I will never hold trust for anyone ever again,
Screw you for falling out of love with me......I AM DONE.

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

this poem has many raw emotions running threw it and I it is one of those poems that is written when the moment hit and you have to put it on paper. I love how honest you are in this poem. Later in time go back and reread it. I think you will find you can make it speak more deeply. It is good the way it is but give it a few years and you might make it sparkle so to speak. I recently did that with one of mine that I wrote three years ago and it is now I think really good. I wish you the best. Life isn't always very kind to us.

[Black Cat Fever]

Lots of pain. Lots of pain. Love can do this. Feelings of betrayal can lead to all sorts of dark places no one really wants to go.

[Inci]

pretty good write......

[Coyote Poetry]

The pain of a true love leave us grounded and afraid for a long time. Your words are filled with sadness and disappointment. I like the last line. A powerful poem.
Coyote

[Carolina Kel]

A well written poem. It seems some of the best writes come from strong emotions.

[RDOriginal]

This poem has an awful lot of anger and resentment and is very raw but I wonder whether it might be suffering a bit because of that.

There are some very disturbing images here such as, 'As the words left your lips of wanting me to die' which sums up a relationship that has gone as wrong as it possibly could go. However, the emotions seem to be somewhat inconsistent as there is the recognition that this was, 'Said out of anger and pure hate' which suggests a more considered and calmer mindset but later on this has been forgotten and replaced with angry hurt, 'I will never hold trust for anyone ever again'. I get the feeling that this was written directly after the 'true events' and you were so angry the poem has inherited a confused and primordial anger.

In summary I think the anger here is well expressed but a little inconsistent in direction. It's not a bad poem by any stretch of the imagination it's just that in my eyes it seems a little ill at ease with itself.

[Awdures]

Intense but I've come to expect nothing less from you.

One line I didn't like "I'm done with dating..." Consider revising it because it does imapre with the message you're giving out in the flow of the poem.

I can feel the heat of your raw emotion and I've been there lol. Excellent work as always.

Thanks for sharing.

[Wicahpi]

never say never, but can whole-heartily relate.
that's all I can say to this, for it's too personal
to really review. emotions are complicated, to
say the least ... good luck :)

[Ruth]

Its a feeling like no other to love and lose that love! Intense poem sweety
xx

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

how devastating when pure love is rendered into a darker tide~strong poetic~