After Life

If we could move on from this afterlife,
Then we could take away all of the strife
No one would hurt or prosper from our departure,
Things would run smoothly for the ones we love in this adventure
An adventure called life now that is a true tale,
We run in circles half the time chasing our hypothetical tails
When we catch our tail then we lay,
Like a puppy or kitty we grab it and play
So if we moved on from this afterlife to another place far away from here,
You know that I would shall surely miss you if we got separated my dear
Keep in mind that no matter what life time we end up in within the end that you'll be my soul mate and forever friend.

Reviews

[RDOriginal]

To me this poem seems to be a very gentle view of a love that extends beyond our current existence. There isn't a huge amount of passion here, it's more a subtle acknowledgement that with the right person infinity awaits.

The metaphor of life as an adventure works well in this poem. You've extended it nicely without it becoming too stretched and it sits well alongside the puppy/kitty similie. This is a good balance as there can be a tendency in poems that concentrate on the ethereal to write the whole thing in metaphor which can leave the reader a bit stumped as to the meaning of what they've just read!

My one gripe (or possibly something I'm misreading) is the way in which you refer to moving on from this afterlife. I initially read the poem as moving to the afterlife - the traditional place for love beyond life. By writing about moving 'from' it gives the impression that there's something beyond life and death. This might be a reference to re-birth but there don't seem to be any additional hints to back this up.

This is a mellow poem with a considered flow and I enjoyed reading it.

[Black Cat Fever]

This sounds like the voices of two people who have been together for decades. Very tender and loving.

[Ruth]

Touching!
To meet that special someone after this so called existence, now that would be a beautiful thing!
xx

[Poetic Beauty]

I love the last two lines in this poem. This is a poem that makes us think about things on a different scale and think that maybe, just maybe we should slow down a little and enjoy what we have for a moment before me move on.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

a thoughtful poetic with a soft air of playfulness in words~ well expressed~ and much enjoyed~=)~

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know if poor my wife wants me for eternity. I like the poem. I like the idea of gathering with people we care for in the afterlife. I like the ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Awdures]

This was a change to the previous works of yours I've read in that it was a heck of a lot softer! It shows that you have the ambidexterity to do a multitude of writing. This reminded me of a short little note one would write to a lover, very honest as is all of your work, but also touching.

Good work :)

[Art]

Nice work Stacey though the ending seemed to kind of lose its flow...but I followed it through...

nice...