Choice Made

The wait is over the one I love,
You've made my choice for me
I may not be in control of the above,
Yet you've opened my eyes so I can see
If I don't follow you're directions then I lose you,
Then again if I follow those instructions I destroy a friend
Have no fears I know what to do,
I shall simply take my life and that way no one gets hurt in the end.

Reviews

[Black Cat Fever]

I agree with CoyotePoetry only in that suicide leaves no one unhurt. Those you think won't get hurt will be very very hurt and damaged. But I don't think this is a poor end to the poem as it is telling a story many people choose but they need to understand its not a painless choice. In the chaos of emotional pain, I realize, its hard to see this, its hard to be calm and rational. But friends shouldn't play games either, forcing someone to choose between them. The situation in the poem simply is not a good situation to be in. Perhaps just walking away from the person trying to control is the best. Great poem, it got a strong emotional response from me!

[StacyPerry]

I've had A LOT of response to this poem and I need EVERYONE TO KNOW that I DO NOT CONDONE SUICIDE. This was a writing that came out of me at a dark time [which you never know what you get with me as a writer or a person], BUT I WAS NOT THINKING OF DOING IT NOR DO I CONDONE IT!!!

Oh k....let's move on guys...HUGS to all who have commented.

[RDOriginal]

This poem seems to hold a lot of confusion in its short span. It describes a choice to be made but reveals the narrator is considering a third option which to the reader seems to suggest an option where everybody gets hurt, rather than nobody as the narrator suggests.

Much of the confusion stems from uncertainty over who controls the choice that has been made. On one hand we learn it is the narrators "love" but then the narrator admits that she can see or possibly understand the nature of the choice, "you've opened my eyes so I can see". Later in the poem there is actually no choice, just "instructions".

The confusion seems to built when we reach the final line and the narrator states, "I shall simply take my life". As the choice seems to be between a friend and her love as a reader we might be tempted to think this would be an option where everyone loses out. However, the way in which the word "simply" is used seems to suggest that although there are two people fighting for her attention the narrator does not consider suicide to be a difficult option.

Technically this poem uses an AB rhyme scheme but it seems a little lost because the rhythm is somewhat inconsistent. Sentences that rhyme as pairs perhaps work better if they are of a similar length whereas the lines of this poem are generally growing in size as the piece progresses.

Overall I found this a confusing but still touching poem. It illustrates the somewhat illogical thinking behind the conclusion that self-sacrifice would be the best option. As a reader it makes you want to explain this to the narrator and perhaps see her find calm.

[Ruth]

This is so powerfully unsettling, the curse of any relationship is to fear that wrong decision!
Powerful write
xx

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

a tragic curtain call~ often times people find themselves caught without a net to catch the fall~ however~ while the heart beats there is always the pulse of choice~ wrong decisions can be righted~ right decisions can be expanded~ death however is final and irrevocable~

[Awdures]

Oh wow, powerful. Not a happy ending in site here. I find myself going "nooooooo" at the ending so you've managed really well to capture the ultimate ending here!

[Coyote Poetry]

A poor ending. No-one wins when death appears. Life is a chance to find happiness or fall to twisted games where some folks won't ever find peace. A powerful poem. Life is always the best decision. We never know what may lay around the next turn.
Coyote