This past Wednesday I was simply driving to a friends that I haven't
seen in about 6 or 7 years and Murphy's Law took over hardcore on my
a*s.
Mind you it is only a 20 minute drive tops, if you hit all red lights.
So I am driving and getting closer and my cell falls to the floor.....I
pick it up and end up swerving. Then I slow down so I can read the signs
[not a word about needing glasses people!], and I gather I was swerving
a bit as well because I wasn't paying attention completely to the road.
Oh k, so I FINALLY get to the street and turn, well the directions fell
to the floor, so I pick them up and hit the tree lawn when I turn. Mind
you all of this has occurred within 6 miles [because I had a cop
following me the ENTIRE TIME].
I get on my buddy's street and I see lights and hear sirens, I just
shook my head slightly as I pulled over gently and put it in park, then
[around here you HAVE TO MAKE SURE at least one hand is visible and the
other is quickly there too] I turned the car off and rolled the window
down and had my hands set on the wheel.
Cop comes up to the window [as 2 more pull behind him] and said a driver
had called in that I was swerving erratically and they followed me for 6
miles because they thought I was a drunk driver.
I looked at the officer and was beyond polite and answered all the
questions and asked if he would like to search the car and have me do a
field sobriety test, and of course he said yes.
I've never done one, so I listened and followed his instructions [mind
you, how the hell when you are sober do you stand on one foot and count
to 30 1000ths and do it without swaying a bit, especially when it is
windy as hell out?], then after I walked my straight line and the whole
leg thing, he was content to search my trunk [which nothing except
emergency stuff is in there] and he looked in the glove box and so
forth, well when I opened my purse, he saw 2 pill bottles. He asked what
they were. I took both of them out and 1 was labeled and one
wasn't.....well I told him the first one and then he walked away with
them and my license and insurance.
While the 2 cops and 1 sheriff were speaking, I listened and heard
something about betting how drunk I was.......I smiled and the cop came
back with the Breathalyzer thing [never seen or had to do one before],
he told me how it worked, I blew and it came up a perfect NADA. I don't
drink or smoke and I told him that, BUT he then looked at me and [I am
gathering since everyone other than me felt a bit silly] told me as he
handed me everything back that since 1 of the bottles didn't have a
label on the container, I could get a federal offense for it and [even
though it had Tylenol and Meclizine [a pill you take for dizziness] in
it] I could get taken to prison for it.
Then he looked at me and asked where I was heading because I was NOT
driving back to Ashtabula like this and I said see the guy waving his
hand, that is where I am going.
They let my buddy Dave walk to me, they gave me a warning [thankfully!!]
& let him drive me to his house.
Premise, I had to eat and wait at least 2 hours before I could leave his
place [plus the fact that I had to drive MORE than careful back.
Commence Laughing in 3....2...1...