Let the flickering candle take you back

The rain falls .

Candles flicker.

Shadows dance.

Sreams beguin.

Close your eyes.

Take a breath.

Let the world of magic,

Pull you in a trance.

Feel the power,

In your fingertips.

Remember the adventures,

That your childhood gave you,

As you danced with the shadows,

And sang with the stars,

And twirled in the rain.

Saw the sword fightds begin

Where forbiden love was the devil candy,

And oh how i wanted a bite.

You rode dragons

And flew with fairys.

The mermaids sat on rocks

Trying to lure in unlikey souls.

Where if you kissed a frog

A prince appeared.

Let the flickering candle,

Take you back to the palaces,

Of the princesses and princes.

Let the flickering candle take you back.

Back to your dreams, hope and inspiration

Back to your childhood.

 

 

Author's Note

ignore spelling and grammer and hope you like it :)

Reviews

[Hawkmoon]

Great energy, the images and thoughts are crisp and clear. The cadence is precise and moves the mind gracefully. There is a moment at "Saw places where sword fights began" that the rhythm breaks due to the syllable count. You could say "Saw the sword fights begin, where forbidden love was the devil's candy". I think that would be a good edit. Then, leave out the word "And" in the "And oh how I wanted a bite". Poetry is sometimes about economy of language. Also leave out "Where" from "Where you rode dragons". You want your words to be tight, to jostle the brain and an 'ordinary word' like ... and, or 'where' --- tends to blur the language. You are writing Spells, hahaha, to some degree, and your language must be Otherworldly. I think you have a great talent. I suggest you read and listen to the writing of Natalie Goldberg, She is a great writing teacher. She has audio available at Amazon.com, and books like "Writing Down the Bones" and "Wild Mind" are great. Have fun and live adventurously with courage and intelligence but do not get caught up in the careless and reckless aspects of the writing world.

[GorgEOus NiGhtMarE]

Thanks for the advice ! and I'll look her up.

[Tribute To Jadey]

A wistful sadness is woven all through here, but there is a longing and craving for the way of the olden days, the good old days. The childhood times were we had our fairy tales, and heartache did not exsist. This is magnicifent work, the imary is vivd and it has left me with a strange longing to watch 'The little mermaid'
Keep writing

[just_teague]

This is wonderful! Your poem is light and whimsical, and yet sadness is laced throughout your poem, a kind of wistfulness that seems inescapable. It's poignant in a lot of ways. I like how you start with short clipped sentences to really set up your story cleanly and concisely, and then move on to a more rhythmic meter in which the lines seem to fall into one another to continue the narrative. It reminds me of being a child, when you would start to talk about something and then suddenly get so excited about it that you can't stop. A few lines that were especially delicious: where forbidden love was the devil candy and oh how I wanted a bite" and the mermaids luring in unlikely souls.

I actually had a similar experience a few days ago, when I sat staring into that burning pillar of incense smoke. I suddenly felt like a shaman. When you watch smoke, or when you watch flames, it seems like you instantly become a sort of mystic. You become so entranced with shapes and air and light, I suddenly understood why spiritists found smoke and shadows so useful. Not because it made them mysterious and covered their mistakes necessarily, but perhaps it really is their way of becoming young and entranced, their way of trying to see the world with the clarity of a child they way that you just have.

Nice work, nightmare. I look forward to more of your writing.

[GorgEOus NiGhtMarE]

Thankyou!! :D