Lasting Regret

When you're on your deathbed, panic-stricken and blasphemous, you'll realize it. Nothing is more powerful than Regret.

I turned off the lights in my room and climbed into my icy bed. My head sunk peacefully into my pillow. I turned to face my window. All the sounds of the night came alive. The slightest leaf rustle and the slow howling of the wind, all amplified as the darkness pressed against my eyes. Focusing my ears to more distant sounds, I heard cars bustling by. The dogs down the street barked and whined. I felt sleep come closer, embracing me in its warm and safe hands. Just as silently as sleep came towards me, I could feel the cold of my bed slip away. With one sharp, piercing crow, my eyelids swung violently upwards. I could feel the rise in my pulse throughout my body. The crow came again. And again. And again.

 

The crowing grew closer. The silence between each crow increased, as if the silence was time. A countdown. There was no sound of leaves or wind. Only a sharp crow, piercing my ears. Echoing in my head. Dread had visited me, wrapped me in its cold arms. Draping me in its cloak of doubt and fear. I waited for the silence to come. That would be time up.

 

I lay still and stiff, as silence fell upon my ears. My mind casting me back to the beginning of my life. My youthful days of joy and security. The wonders of growing up and being educated. I remembered the tiny details that never crossed my mind before. But dread was still sleeping with me. It slowly brought the worst of memories forth. All those times I regretted. The mistakes I made. The times I missed and experiences I ignored. How I wished things were different. My heart ached to go back, fix the wrong and do more right. Life had passed me by. All those times I chose to dictate my own life. How foolish I was. I chose the wrong. I suffered and bled from deep wounds, time and time again. How silly I was for repeating the same things. My friends and family penetrated my thoughts, how i disrespected, neglected and disappointed you all...

 

In my final seconds, I wept. The first tear burned the skin on my cheek as it tumbled down. The second sliced through my skin like a knife. Finally, the clouds of my eyes opened up and it began to drizzle. I looked straight ahead and saw nothing.

 

Death had come to me, with his mightiest friends. Death came to me tonight and demanded my soul. I gave my soul to death, without a fight. And when the light came up, and death, his friends and I were gone, I saw how many friends, family and even my foe had come to say goodbye. The true hurt they felt and how they mourned my death.

 

Regret was deaths mightiest friend that night. I gave in to him then. And now in my death, I am restless. Regret still stands over me as the victor...

 

How I truly regret all my regrets...

Author's Note

This is a piece that I hoped would strike my readers in the heart. Show you all that we need to live for the moment and regret nothing! The similar message is delivered in my 2 chapter book: The Letter

The Letter -> http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/st1tch/657798/

Reviews

[G. K. Bostic]

Well written......truly poetic in parts. The point is well taken that we so often repeat ourselves....not learning, changing. One thing I have learned is that it is wise, and we are happiest when we are in the moment. You seem very wise...are you sure you're only 20? Very well done!

[Cassie Meno]

I really love how you use personification here. All of these regrets seem so familiar and every day. Everyone ignores these sorts of things and we can only hope that one day we will not be thinking the same thing. It's nice that you mentioned how the character saw his friends and family. Gives it a nice relieved feel to the ending.

[Chris38]

Well it struck my heart certainly. Thought it was fantastic! Few dare to write of death in this way but you have done an excellent job.