May

I feel like my mind is twisted and turned 

I have so many thoughts

so many emotions

in the month of May

Im about to graduate college

I have so much to do

so much growing up to do

I have a few more weeks to figure out where Im going

who im going to be

in this big big World

I am still in love

I see Him and I still smile

I still laugh

I still cry

I look into his big blue eyes

and see love

I am older

maybe wiser

I feel drained

these assignments pulling me back and forth

up and down

causing me to sleep less

but wake up later

Its May

and the weather is slowly getting nicer

I still hate the rain though

It makes me ache

I hope the sun shines bright this May

I would like to visit a beach and put my toes in the sand for a little while

I would like to go to new places with Him

if he'd like

I hope to figure my life out

or begin to

I want to keep painting

I like art

I love it actually

I want to work on my inner self

I want to stop panicking all the time

Let the rain fall 

Let the sun shine

Let the grass grow

Let the flowers bloom

I want to live

I want to live as much as I can