Garnet in the Rockface

"I like you" "I have a huge crush on you" "I am in love with you" "I am falling for you" These things...that we say, are the things we mistake for love before we
realize what love feels like for real. That little sensation, the butterflies in your stomach, the tingles of happiness...In the past, I never noticed how wrong I
was to think about it the way I did. Love is a deeper, more peaceful calm. Those juvenile feelings we felt before were ephemeral, even when it didn't seem as such...
Love. Love. Love. Words mean nothing when it comes to matters like that. "I love you" means nothing. I once was certain that I required words of affirmation for every
such situation, but yet again I recently discovered that I was wrong. I think about how I viewed them...I looked only at the big obvious things that would make a
person likable. And in fact, the people I had "fallen for" were enjoyable to be around, but when my lips touched theirs or they passionately stripped down my clothes--
wildly attempting to make me their own, I felt nothing. I was numb. I wondered what was wrong with me and why I was so insensitive to such meaningful acts and I always
stopped them before it was too late. But though I have come to love a person very close to me and though he still is no more than just that, I know that I do love him.
I love who he is. How he is. What he looks like, flaws and all. I think he is the most attractive person I have ever come to know. But not just based outwardly.
In his presence, I feel happy, content, relaxed, calm and I think of nothing else. I am able to devote all my thoughts and worries only to the moment at hand. Who
knows? Perhaps time will deceive my feelings once again. But, whether it does or not...I know that this is a much truer thing than ever before. It's strange, and lovely
and endowed with fear all at once. But, I don't mind. I don't mind what happens...because it all will work out how it must. But in the end, I am just so glad to have
come to know this person at all. What a wonderful thought. Its like chipping away at stone for a very long time...thoughts of giving up pass through your mind over
and over again, but still you persist and one day, finally...the tiniest piece of garnet falls out of the rock face and there is some meaning in all of the persistence.
It is worth it to continue...