Jawline Fracture

I wonder how this sounds to someone who isn't strung out on pain medication (T3s).

Ohh, it hurts and it aches.
And I cannot get a break.
Even with these pills that I take.

At first the pain seemed so soft-spoken.
In spite of my jaw, all bleeding and broken.

But relief is a b*****d,
This ache can't be mastered
It lingers on into the night

The blood is as pale as the milk of regret
And my feelings are set
in stone; broken bones heal alone
but hearts cannot settle, disowned
not by their partnering clones
In stone, blood means nothing
for time is its master
and time is its dastardly crone

The night hungrily drinks
From the blood-bathed sink
Glistens with a writhing awe..
I think it is time to withdraw.

Reviews

[Enigma]

Extremely raw and powerful. I'm not aware of T3's (I guess it is a band) but well, I surely loved the poem. It has this certain rhythm, accentuated by the rhymes and is constantly there without a break till the end. Dark themed poem but excellent work. Well done. :)

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Courageous grace in the darkness, powerful write like a sound of a stomech filled owls voice.......

[Rae]

OUCH!! Keep writing!!

[QC]

this is exactly how i felt, basically, when i got my wisdom teeth out :P all useless from my medicine (i didn't get T3s, but i did get them for another surgery) and bleeding forever. you put it into words much better than i ever could.

[LivingDeath]

What happened????