A lie within your heart

it describes itself

a pain so dear
stays without choice
facing the lonesome rages
lie within your heart split into a light sorrow known no more to the
cages around it
sinister and dear
to the one who commands it
a scream of anger
rages within unseen to the eye
faces a morning of suffering
tearing into two
leaving space between
black blood pours from
the depth
unseen by the eye o the fit
it burns in a flame scorching
the beats of a burden
it crumblels in hole
it stabs at the thought
keeping at bay
singing a face despized by
the hate
creating a void of anger
and deseiat
unrattled by a stance
still yet to be seen
underlining a fake
to a dear price
BREAK

 

-spooky-

Author's Note

im not the best speller sry

Reviews

[Freedom]

yeah, i like the syntax on this one. I agree, with some structural and grammatical improvement, this poem would really pull together. I really like the end. I'll do a more in-depth review in a little while here.

[K C Scott]

I really like the words you chose for this. Besides a few little errors this is pretty good.
:)

[Vampire]

I think this was a good poem, but u need capitilazation and i think you should go to the next line of the poem after u finish a complete thought, it seemed like you would put a complete thought in two or three lines instead of just one line like a sentence, so yea.... Just my opinion.... besides that i thought it was a really good poem.

[Dusky]

Nice poem I can feel lots of emotion in it. Very dark. One thing though - you need to put in capital letters and punctuation.

[Jacky Bones]

i think ive seen this before