Of Wolves and Potatoes

This is a story I wrote for Flash Fiction Online. It is a short story, only about 1,000 words. I wrote it for my best friend who challenged me to write a story about potatoes. This is the result.

Gwyneth stood at the edge of the sink, angrily peeling the still dirty potatoes. She glanced over at the ever growing pile of the heavy starch. She watched for only a second before another potato appeared out of thin air and dropped onto the top of the pile.

The wolf growled from beneath her feet. It was hungry and growing impatient. She quickened the pace of her peeling, the metal blade shearing off thick strips of potato flesh. Better to take too much of the brown, rough skin than too little. Another brown ovoid dropped on top of the pile. This time it dislodged several others and the whole pile tumbled to the floor in a miniature landslide.

Gwyneth sighed loudly, no time to collect them back up. She finished the potato she was currently working on and tossed it down the chute to the right of the sink. She heard it bounce around the interior of the chute followed by the sound of the wolf's excited, hungry yips. They only lasted an instant before the growls returned. The wolf was always so hungry. She moved on to the next potato.

Gwyneth had been standing at that sink for several days now, endlessly peeling potato after potato. Exhausted and hungry, she hadn't taken a break for at least a day. Her hands were scraped and bleeding from all the accidentally nicks and slices the sharp blade had given her. The wolf didn't mind the taste of the blood soaked potatoes; in fact, he seemed to enjoy them better. Who was she fooling? Of course he did. She tossed the second potato down the chute. The greedy yelping and snarling thanked her for her hard work.

Gwyneth hated the wolf. All the servants did. It was a cruel taskmaster, never relenting, never sleeping, always eating. The majority of the servants were there to rotate peeling potatoes. Only one servant was allowed at a time in the little kitchen area.  None of the servants, not even the senior ones, knew why this was the case. The wolf did not explain its motives. When Gwyneth passed out from exhaustion or hunger, the next servant in line would drag her out and take her place. And so was the endless cycle. Gwyneth had so far lasted longer than any of them. She was strong, and prideful, the wolf would not get his satisfaction so easily. She angrily hurled the peeled, bloody potato down the chute. To her surprise, the snarling of the wolf did not greet the arrival of the potato. What she did hear chilled her even more.

"Gwyneth," a soft, sweet, almost seductive voice emanated from the potato chute. "Gwyneth, are you angry at me?"

Gwyneth had never heard the voice of the wolf, a few times, servants would mention being spoken to by the wolf, but rarely did they say anything about it. She forced herself to overcome her shock.

"Yes, I am." She growled down the chute.

"Why don't you come down and talk to me about it? Perhaps we can resolve this."

Gwyneth stiffened. No one she had ever known had ever gone to see the wolf. Never had they been summoned to his private chamber. Shea's heard some of the older ones, though. They told stories of how servants had been summoned to see e wolf and had never been seen again. Gwyneth guessed that she had displeased the wolf and this was a death sentence. She didn't care too much, though. Death was welcome to an eternity of peeling potatoes and passing out from starvation. Many had committed suicide under the roof of the wolf. Life as the wolf's servant was not a happy one.

Gwyneth knew she was going to her death, and she was almost happy for it. She would be able to give this wolf the verbal beat-down he deserved. She tossed an unpeeled potato down the chute. "On my way." She said.

"I'll see you soon." Replied the wolf.

Gwyneth looked down at her scarred, bloody hands, thankful she would never have to peel another potato. She smiled. Then she noticed the knife laying on the counter next to the sink. A thought crossed her mind. A terrible though. A crazy thought.

She tucked the knife in her skirt and swept out of the kitchen, the door of which the wolf had had unlocked. The wolf's lair was several staircases down. She arrived at the steel door at the bottom of the staircase. She didn't need to knock, the lock clicked and the door swung open. She entered without invitation, into the dimly lit cave.

Lit only by torchlight, the room seemed to move in the flickering light. Gwyneth quickly scanned the room, only two things she could see in the room: a large, furry bulk in the corner; and a pile of skeletons in the middle of the floor. The furry bulk began to move. Gwyneth stiffened as the bulk slowly stood upright and turned to face her. She gasped in horror at the hideously deformed face of the wolf.

"Hello Gwyneth. I see you know what is to happen to you."

Gwyneth stiffened and her hand went to the knife. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Put the knife down, don't make this any messier than it needs to be."

Gwyneth had no choice. She removed the knife from her skirt and tossed it aside.

"Thank you for the potatoes, Gwyneth." He pounced at her. Gwyneth produced a large potato from the folds of her skirt. Before it knew what had happened the wolf was choking on a fist-sized potato. It fell to the ground. Gwyneth leapt for the knife. She heard a choking cough and turned about just in time to see the wolf spit out the potato. It pulled itself to all fours and glared. She readied the knife. Their eyes met for an instant. The wolf pounced.  

Author's Note

Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes. I'd love for you to point them out for me though. Remember, this story is designed to be short. So it may seem like there is something missing, but it's supposed to be that way.

Reviews

[James Winter]

I like short stories but I'm rarely a fan of fantasy or things that are not realistic - this was however a pleasant read and as I'd started reading, I couldn't stop! It is a really interesting setting which makes me quite curious; the servants, the wolf that eats potatoes and controls his staff harshly - all of it very odd and yet very appealing. Though you have very little descriptions of Gwyneth, of the place she works and the kitchen itself, and how her life has been or how she came to be, it doesn't really matter in this case. It reads smoothly and that's always nice.

There are two things I'll point out though and you can take the suggestions or ignore them. First of all there's the sudden idea of killing the world; she seems tired of her life, she's even willing to die (and thinks of it as being a pleasant idea), so the sudden 'crazy' idea, as she refers to it herself, seems a bit odd to me. I wish I could've sensed her feelings better because I miss some sort of explanation as to why she would suddenly fight anyway. I mean, it's somewhat obvious - who wouldn't want to keep living? But where's her urge, her emotions - what does she base this sudden idea on? I wish that had shown some more.

The other thing is the ending. You mention yourself it may seem like something is missing and I agree. Short stories don't need to feel like that though. You can make a short, little tale and still wrap it up. Of course this is often harder to do with fantasy stories because you're introducing a whole new world to a reader which they have to grasp and accept, but it's still not impossible. It just seems like it ended too sudden; there's nothing to keep me thinking about what could happen now, no hints as to where Gwyneth will now go and end up, no sense of a final to this little tale. I think that's sad when in itself it's an interesting setting.

A short, good read though, I'm glad I gave it a try!

[Jake Lockwood]

Thanks so much for your review and I definitely see what you're saying about her emotions and all. I'll definitely take them into consideration
As to the ending, like I said, when I originally wrote this, I only had 1000 words to work with. I tried wrapping it up completely, but the ending seemed disjointed and awkward. So instead, in accordance with some advice I recieved, I opted to leave it at a cliffhanger.
I hope to get around to expanding upon the story and giving it a little more meat and a suitable ending. However, as it stood when I first wrote it, there was very little more I could do with the word limit.

[James Winter]

Admittedly I hadn't read your summary, so I didn't realise you were working within a word limit. It can be a frustrating thing to do, I do understand, but if you ever get around rewriting it, I think it could serve the piece well and make it feel finished - if not only for the readers of WritersCafe.

[TLK]

The first really arresting portion of the story is "Gwyneth hated the wolf. All the servants did." Try making the your first sentence -- I think it would draw readers in with the strong emotion, odd object of emotion, and unusual concept of human servants to a wolf.

The current first paragraph is about peeling potatoes. This is not a gripping action.

This would also remove a significant portion of the existing word and would allow a more cohesive ending without going over 1,000 words. I honestly have no idea why the wolf is making servants peel potatoes, or why the wolf has senior servants who have been there for longer, if the wolf is actually just eating them for the age-old wolf reasons of eating meaty people. (I did not pick up any evidence from the story that the wolf was actually eating the potatoes, just that the servants appear to believe that this is so).