Inseperable

This is the first chapter of a story I thought of the other day. It's kinda all I got so far, and I'm not really sure what I want to do with it from here.

Inseparable

If I die today I will take you with me because I will not leave you in a world in which I am not. You will have nothing of your own; everything that is mine will belong as much to you, but in return everything dear to you will belong as much to me. You will have no separation from me, where you go there I will be also. Wherever I travel you will go with me, always compelled to follow. Ours are destinies intertwined, conjoined since birth, inseparable until death do us part at last.

Chapter 1

            The clock said six-thirty when I woke. A disgustingly early time. I felt Dawn getting up and reached over the edge of the bed, feeling around until I found one of my sneakers which I snatched up and threw with a thump against the wall separating our rooms. My heart beat jumped slightly at her surprise.

“Hey!” she yelled.

“I told you not to set our alarm so early!”

“I told you I want to get to school early so I can talk to Mr. Brook about my paper!”

“Your paper is fine!”

“Just get up lazy butt!”

            No. I lay defiantly in bed wanting to go back to sleep but knowing I’d never win that fight. Besides I wouldn’t do that to her. I waited until I heard the shower turn on before I got out of bed threw on my sunflower yellow robe and headed downstairs for some breakfast. I was halfway through my bowl of Rice Krispies when Dawn came down, damp hair in a towel. We burst out laughing.

            Between giggles Dawn got out, “Your hair looks fantastic this morning Aurora.”

            I fought of her giggles and picked up the shiny metal toaster to look at myself. The reflection was blurred but I could at least tell that a significant portion of my sapphire blue locks were pointing upwards rather than down. I actually reminded myself of a peacock. I put the toaster down and ran my hands over my hair trying to smooth it down somewhat struggling to fight of my building irritation with her. I didn’t want us to be grumpy all day.

“It’ll be fine after I shower.”

“Mhmm, you should get on that or we’ll be late,” she came over and picked up my half eaten bowl of cereal taking a bite.

“It’s physically impossible to be late when you get up this early, and I wasn’t done with that.”

She rolled her eyes and headed for the stairs with my bowl, “you aren’t hungry anymore.”

“I still wasn’t done with it!” But I headed upstairs to shower.

            Out of the shower and back in my room in my robe I set out to find an acceptable outfit for the day. Dawn had been wearing her black maxi dress so I put on a pair of soft pink skinny jeans and a white sweater. Dawn and I met in front of the vanity mirror in the bathroom, she was putting on lip-gloss when I walked in.

“Should I go up or down?” She asked.

“Up,” I got the hairdryer out, “do you have the black converse in your room?”

“Yeah, I’ll throw um out for you.”

She left and I blow dried my choppy blue bob. We were out the door by seven thirty and pulling into the school parking lot by seven-forty despite all of Dawn’s whining. Dad hadn’t even woken up when we left. Jealous. Dawn went off to find Mr. Brooks and I wandered off in the general direction of my first class. With twenty minutes before the buses started arriving there was practically no one at the school.

I found a window ledge near my classroom wide enough to sit on and pulled my latest book out of my bag. We’d been assigned Pride and Prejudice in my English class last semester and I’d loved it so much that I was working my way through all of Jane Austin’s other works. I’d just finished Emma and was starting Sense and Sensibility. I was engrossed in my book and it took me a second to realize that someone had stopped in the hall in front of me.

I looked up and saw a boy. Or a guy. Or a man. He was tall. And Pretty. Lean with messy dark hair, black or dark brown I wasn’t sure. His eyes were most definitely green though. Very, very green. But that’s not the point. He was staring at me, right at my face. He looked confused. I could guess why.

“Yeah?” I tried not to sound too angry.

“Sorry,” he seemed startled that I’d spoken but smiled and said, “you must be Aurora.”

I blinked, “Yes, and you are,” I actually tried to sound polite. He seemed friendly.

“I’m Cameron,” he came over and held his hand out to shake, “I’m in pre-calc with Dawn. I knew she had a twin but I didn’t know you were identical, when I saw you just now I thought for a second that Dawn had cut off half her hair and died the rest blue blue.”

I shook his hand, “But you thought it more likely that I was her identical twin than that she had changed her hairstyle?”

“Well I did know that she had a twin, she talks about you.”

“Your friends?” I was curious, and he seemed nice enough so I decided that I was no longer annoyed that he had stared. He came over and sat beside me. I closed my book using an index finger to keep my place.

“We’re desk buddies.”

“Oh, cool,” I admit that I am not a stunning conversationalist.

“Yeah. She talks about you a lot. You’re close, huh?”

I burst out laughing. “Yeah, we are, together since birth and all.” He looked a little confused by my laughter but took it in stride.

“Must be nice, I wish I had siblings. But whatever. I actually have to go, I left a book in my locker and I need it to do some homework that’s due today. But it was nice to meet you Aurora, enjoy your book.”

“Yeah sure, nice to meet you too.”

He got up and left and I opened my book back up but didn’t start reading for a minute. He was cute and he was nice. I liked that he’d said siblings and not twins too. Generally speaking I wasn’t much of a social butterfly. I mean I like people and I have friends, but not any really good friends, just school friends or “let’s hang at the mall this weekend” friends, no “I trust you with my deepest darkest secrets” friends. I had Dawn and she was all of those things to me, we were close, so close that no other relationship could measure up. It made it hard for me to get close to people. And even if I could get close to them in the end they would not be my friend, they would be ours. Always ours.

There was a great rush off noise as students started piling in from the buses. I put my book away grabbed my bag and headed to class. The rest of the day passed in its usual monotones way. Classes, lunch, crowded hallways, loud teenagers, and boring teachers. Dawn had volleyball practice after class and my old English teacher had asked me to tutor one of her students after school. It was our third meeting and the kid was coming along, so we ended up getting through the material pretty fast. I was free with a good half hour to go before Dawn got out of practice. I decided to wait in the car.

I’d gotten through another chapter of Sense and Sensibility when I felt dawn getting close. I kept reading and only looked up when she opened the driver’s side door.

“Hey, how was practice,” I asked as she climbed in.

“Good, but I’m tired,” she answered as she shut the door.

“Yeah I know.”

            She smiled at me apologetically then leaned over to toss her bag at my feet. As she leaned over I felt a ripping sensation on the left side of my scalp, I jumped and yelled just as Dawn did the same. Our hands flew up to clutch the painful spot on our scalps where five strands of hair had detached themselves from each of our heads, Dawns dangled from the top of the Driver’s door where they had been caught when it was shut and mine came away in my hand as I took it from my hair.

            “Thanks Dawn I’d rather not go bald today if you don’t mind.”

            “Sorry,” she said as she massaged her scalp, “fasten your seatbelt.”

            I did as she said and she started the car. We drove home together, we went in together, we called hello to our father together, our stomachs rumbled hungrily for dinner together. Always together.

We are twins. Born only five minutes apart those five minutes are the only ones I will ever be able to claim as belonging exclusively to me. Those precious minutes are my treasure, untouchable, I cannot even remember them, but I hold them close, the knowledge that for five minutes I was only myself.

           

Reviews

[Tacitus]

I. Love. It.

I felt that this story was absolutely fascinating. The subject matter was unique and interesting and your story telling is top notch. Everything moved along briskly without feeling rushed or incomplete.

There was only one thing I noticed that could use changed.
“Hey, how was practice,” I asked as she climbed in.
“Good, but I’m tired,” she answered as she climbed in and shut the door.

The repeated "as she climbed in" is very noticeable and seemed weird. I suggest something like the following.
"Hey, how was practice," I asked as she climbed in.
"Good, but I'm tired," she answered, shutting the door.

Other than that, I think this story was superb. I want more!

[FuzzyBuddy]

Hey thanks! I'm glad you liked it and thanks for your comment. I'm really bad at picking up on stuff like that in my own writing so I really appreciate you pointing it out.