Beginning of the End

A newly drafted prologue. The story begins almost 4000 years ago in ancient Babylon.

1792 B.C: The City of Babylon

Moonlight reflected a silvery hue across the turbulent surface of the Euphrates. The river flowed quickly beneath the bridge to the city gates built high above its westerly embankment. The night was still young, but those who dwelled within the city walls were subdued beneath the prospect of an uncertain future that promised to arrive with the dawn. These feelings of trepidation were no more apparent than within the palace and temple that loomed high above the rest of Babylon.

Within the palace flickering reed wood and lime coated torches that were held fast to the limestone walls with iron fastenings sent amber light dancing between night time shadows. The trio of regal inhabitants in the palace were together in the bedroom of Princess Iltani; the girl sat in her bed, The King and Queen sat either side of her.

Her Father, King Sin Muballit, stroked her arm through white night time robes as he spoke softly to her,

‘Tomorrow I shall be king no longer and we will leave Babylon forever.’

Iltani’s bottom lip trembled as she looked around the home she had always known,

‘Must we go father? Will my brother not allow us to remain here in our home?’

Sin Muballit became flustered at the prospect of answering such a question and turned to his wife to beg her wisdom with questioning eyes. Queen Summaratt smiled to console the King and then gently squeezed her daughter’s opposite arm in bringing her to attention,

‘Hammurabi desires that we leave so that he may forge a new Kingdom from the old. We will have no place here any longer,’ she said, leaning forward to look closely into the child’s dewy brown eyes, but Iltani tore away from her mothers gaze to seek out her father’s once more.

‘Could we not also be a part of my brother’s kingdom, father? Are we not of his blood?’

Sin Muballit frowned to show great displeasure and shook his head ruefully,

‘Alas ours is not the blood he craves; his is the way of bloodlust and I will have no part in it,’ he said angrily.

‘My lord- she is but a child, such knowledge is not befitting of her,’ the concerned Summaratt interrupted, to which the grimacing Sin Muballit replied apologetically,

‘You are right, of course you are right. My heart is heavy with grief and weighs unbearably upon my weary mind. I shall not speak of it again in her presence.’

 The king bowed his head and tiredly sighed. Indeed his heart was heavy and his mind weary also; his only son had demanded the crown by threat of death and conquest. Having gained the support of the Assyrian King to the north, Hammurabi was not to be trifled with on such matters and so, for the sake of his family and his people, Sin Muballit had complied with his wishes. This was his final night as the King of Babylon and tomorrow heralded a brand new beginning that filled his heart with dread.

‘Do not worry so my husband,’ Queen Summaratt begged of him, ‘we shall be welcomed in Nippur and see our days out in peace…’

‘Pah! Peace you say? Our son means to rule the world by the side of Shamshi-Adad, my wife- how soon before Nippur falls to the tyranny of their ways? Where next shall we flee then: North to Assur, south to Lagash; east to Susa or west to the barren sands, perhaps?’

The king stood from Iltani’s bed as he spoke. His tone and expression were fierce yet hushed and Iltani pulled her coverings closer to her face.

‘Please do not be angered so my lord- there is little else we can do. Please think of the child!’

Queen Summaratt moved closer beside her daughter as she spoke in equally hushed tones. Neither would betray their fears or intentions to any servant who may be eavesdropping. They would be Hammurabi’s aides when next the sun left the sky and they were careful to leave no clue as to their future plans. With fear as their motivation those who remained at the palace and temple would be most willing to court Hammurabi’s favour, so it was wise to exercise caution. Then all that needed to be done, on their part was to pass over the crown in a ceremonial show of abdication and succession and then leave Babylon with all the speed and grace they could muster.

‘Does my brother mean to do us harm?’ Iltani asked her eyes widened fretfully as she huddled closer to her mothers breast.

‘No harm will befall us my child,’ her mother assured her, although Iltani kept her gaze purposefully trained on the doubtful expression of her father.

The King noticed that she had seen his uncertainty and made to reassure his daughter, but then turned to the balcony in surprise.

‘I hear the pounding of many hooves!’ he declared suddenly and ran to the window that overlooked the bridge to the gateway. Summaratt picked Iltani from her bed and followed her husband to the balcony,

‘What is it my lord?’ she asked, her heart pounding in fright.

The King’s head twisted to meet her approach and the look of him made Summaratt pause in her stride. She had never before seen such fear etched upon Sin Muballit’s bearded features.

‘He has come with the legions of Shamshi-Adad of Assyria! They mean to take Babylon by force!’ he yelled in disbelief and then looked back into the night.

‘What shall we do?’ Queen Summaratt asked.

 Sin Muballit looked to his family again and said despairingly,

‘I… I do not know, there is nothing to be done,’ and bowed his head in defeat.

The Queen shivered to see the hopeless terror in her husband’s once proud eyes while Iltani began to weep at the atmosphere of horror that had invaded her world.

Author's Note

This prologue now replaces the original opening 'the tomb' as i felt this gives more of an insight into the background of the story and is a better opening in general. If you have read both, which do you prefer?

Reviews

[Alex Zynder]

This is a good idea and a good start. you have obviously done your research, and the dialgue is believable. the only advice i have is to go through paragraph by paragraph to see if there is anything than can be shortened or done without, if there is nothing, than you are done with this chapter.

[Drako]

i've only read this one, but it pulls me in. ancient times and lands interest me, and i'm curious to see how the rest of the story will go