Then I Remembered

Another poem by speechless

It was then that I had remembered

Yes, the moment it all came back to me

The moment my heart had failed to beat

The moment the flame whithered away and died

It was in that moment--

That single moment--

I felt pitied

I felt useless

I felt alone,

Consumed by what I felt.

I had nothing left,

Nothing to hold on to

Sorrow had left my side,

In that moment

I knew it would not be enough

To say I needed help

It was in that moment

I felt the chilled silence

I had suffered an emotional lack

Of life and of love and of happiness

I felt pained,

Worthless,

Forbidden to ever love again,

Yes, that was the moment

That I had remembered death.

Author's Note

Please review this for me and rate it! I am trying to improve my writing, so it would help me. Thank you!

Reviews

[GrownUpTime]

i think that it has a really good meaning but its also all over the place, it should flow a little better. no worries, i have that problum 2. great write

[MadRadDude]

This is very good, you capture emotion very well. Keep it up! Oh, and thanks for the review on mine!

[just rose.]

You do a good job of capturing emotion here. I find myself wanting to know more about the sensations in the moment -- the tactile sense of remembering death. You do an interesting thing with time here, in that I wonder if this is beyond the grave or before or in some other dimension ... there's a sense here that spans or transcends time.

[A.Lee]

This is really good. There's a strong sense of emotion behind this piece. Well written as well. Nice job.

[Angelwithabeard]

hey, this is way cool. it shows the side of things we should really see. and something we can all learn from. way cool. keep writing.

[deeps]

This is kind of deep and powerful. I like this write.
I can really the emotion behind this write. Very well written