4 mintues

4 mintues

A Chapter by speckledbyrd

“Traitor!”


The nearest rioter spat the word as Etta was escorted into the Great Hall.  Escorted was what the soldiers called it. I would use something more along the lines of marched, or dragged.  The soldiers continued to maneuver me into the center of the room amid the deafening sound of the crowd.  Not cheering, but screaming bloodthirsty curses, and calls for murder all aimed somewhere in my direction.  The shackles that bound my wrists and feet were hooked to the stone floor. 

“QUIET!” the Heron yelled,

echoing throughout the vast crumbling ruins of the chamber and into my left eardrum. My right eardrum had gone dead from a hit somewhere in the last day or two.  The Heron was an older man of self-discipline, inside the body of a man only just old enough to be my father.  His skin was tanned to leather from the sun, but the muscles underneath were strong enough to crush bone.  Shoulder length, midnight hair slicked back, the roots were the hair of a man, but the ends morphed into feathers of the same hue.  I knew that at any moment, the Heron could change his shape and take flight.

 

3 minutes 32 seconds

 

“The trial of Etta Eilom will now proceed! The charges are as follows,”

said the Heron.

He knew he know longer needed to yell.   The room was listening to his every breath.  While the Heron captured all ears, I had every pair of eyes.  My torn shift felt too thin.  I knew they no longer saw the grace in my slender limbs, but the blood smeared across my chest and under my fingernails.  Where they used to see piles of earthen curls, they now saw grime and ash that caked my hair into dreads. 

“Consorting and aiding with the Anachim as treachery, attempting to erect heresy on the Gods, aiding in the structuring of mass hysteria through acts of terrorism, and attempted mass murder on the people of Malachim.”

 

2 minutes 4 seconds

 

The volume in the Hall returned at the word ‘attempted’.

 

“She’s a murderer and deserves to burn!”

“She’s a liar!”

“There is no place in the Afterlife for mongrel w****s!”

 

The last came from a tall wiry man that stepped forward from the crowd.  Viktor Far’loch was dressed in the robes of a High Bishop.  He was the second holiest man in all twelve tribes of the Malachim, the first being Mavrolena who was known only as the Crow.  Viktor had pale gray eyes with the slits of a cat. Felines are worshipped among our people as guards to the Afterlife, having souls holy enough to travel as they please through this life and that. At the moment, those eyes were narrowed in disgust.

“We have done nothing but give you life in this treacherous land.  In a time where water is scarcer than diamonds we bathed you.  You came to us silent and hungry and we fed you.  As a people we raised you. You with no marks or words, nothing but a human set on a path by the Gods to die, you betrayed us! You seduced the Empress, used your body to convince these holy people to trust you, and you turned around and stabbed them in the back.  No, there is no place in the Afterlife for you.”

 

19 seconds

 

There should have been rage, or even sorrow, but I felt nothing but the cracked stone I was standing on.   There was a vibrating in the floor that was finally getting the attention of the crowd, taking their attention away from me for half a moment.

 

2 seconds

 

I couldn't see it, but I heard it. The explosion tore the room apart behind me, sending my bruised body violently to the stone floor. Everything went black.



© 2014 speckledbyrd


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Featured Review

Well done, I was picturing the scene very well in my head. It would be interesting to see where this story goes, do you have plans for expanding it to something longer.

The last line "That’s when the bomb went off." isn't strong enough, maybe a description of a blinding flash, a loud, deafening noise, the feel of the pressure wave would be more in line with the rest of your narrative here, but it has captured my curiosity.
Well done.


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

speckledbyrd

10 Years Ago

Thanks! I really appreciate the help. I'll Se what I can do.



Reviews

Wow, that was an amazing piece of writing. I really felt it and pictured the whole thing in my head. The ending seemed a bit forced but I liked her countdown throughout the whole thing. I could just feel the intensity. I can't wait to read more!

Posted 10 Years Ago


speckledbyrd

10 Years Ago

Thank you!, parts II, III, and IV are up too. Not necessarily in order but part of the same "book"
rav1209

10 Years Ago

Oh cool, definitely going to give those a read as well when I get a chance.
This was great. Please expand this. I want to know more about this character.
The line "While the Heron captured all ears, I had every pair of eyes" made me go: "yess!"

Posted 10 Years Ago


speckledbyrd

10 Years Ago

Thanks a bunch! And yes I am working on putting up more right now. It's on its way. Thanks for takin.. read more
Goshhhh this was very good and interesting, I love your style in writing:) and I want to say keep up the awesome writing and I hope I can be a good writer like you. I love your detailing and how it just keeps me on the edge of my seat. Keep it up, oh and I would so appreciate it if when you have the chance to see of my writing and leave a comment or some advice and tips on how to make it better. Thank you so much and keep up the good writing:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


speckledbyrd

10 Years Ago

Thanks for the review. And I will definitely read yours!
This was amazing. It was like a movie trailer in my head, incredibly done.

Posted 10 Years Ago


speckledbyrd

10 Years Ago

Thanks a bunch for taking the time!
Well done, I was picturing the scene very well in my head. It would be interesting to see where this story goes, do you have plans for expanding it to something longer.

The last line "That’s when the bomb went off." isn't strong enough, maybe a description of a blinding flash, a loud, deafening noise, the feel of the pressure wave would be more in line with the rest of your narrative here, but it has captured my curiosity.
Well done.


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

speckledbyrd

10 Years Ago

Thanks! I really appreciate the help. I'll Se what I can do.
Awesome story keep up the great work and keep them coming

Posted 10 Years Ago


speckledbyrd

10 Years Ago

Thanks for taking the time!
melissa

10 Years Ago

You're welcome
a captivating and intriguing story. while I was reading, a film was playing in my head. strange people that could change shape, the afterlife. all the ingredients that can make a movie like Narnia or something similar.
quite a good read. just a few typos you need to sort out. well done.

Posted 10 Years Ago


speckledbyrd

10 Years Ago

Much appreciated!

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Added on April 23, 2014
Last Updated on September 15, 2014