This Jawbreaker

Something fun I wrote a year ago, for my brother who loves candy(: Not one of my favourites, but still cute

This Jawbreaker

The wooden sign hanging above the olde fashioned store

The bells' sweet, familiar ring as I open the door

Smiles, hellos as I walk in

Behind them, shelves of jars, bags, and tins

These packages filled with something quite sweet

What makes this place my candy retreat

Eyes glancing, scanning each one

Fingers deciding, the fun's begun

I chose the small jar sealed tight with surprise

Rainbow hard candy; the prize inside

Two dollar bills, a nickle, a smile

I wait till I get home, (its well worth the while)

I go in my room and have one to savor

It lasts forever, it's tangerine flavour

Reviews

[Amit Parmessur]

You write well.
I often browse the site here looking for talented voices, for the new magazine Golden Apple, of which I am one of the editors.

If you wish to be published in our future issues have a look at us:

http://goldenappleezine.blogspot.com/2010/10/submissions.html

We publish mostly poems and very short stories. There are no restrictions on style and subject matter as long as nothing offends.

Regards

[SilentSKY]

:) That was fantastic, it really had good imagery with it!
I was wondering if somebody would be kind enough as to review some of my works too? THANKS! :)

[Poeticpiers]

Brought back half forgotten memories of my childhood when choosing how to spend one penny could take a very long time
I usually bought Gobstoppers which changed colour as you sucked them