Once Upon a Time in Kennywood

Tales of waiting in line for the Exterminator

So I’m in line (on the inside) for The Exterminator and this group of kids comes in smoking. I’m not going to say anything even though you can't smoke in there, but fortunately this mom pipes up and tells the kids to put them out or leave. She has a good point, plus her daughter has asthma and it’s tough for her to breathe. The ones that are smoking leave, but not before acting all tough and inserting their own random words from the dictionary.

As we are waiting, some kids (unrelated to the smoking group) start talking smack on the Steelers (they were Philly fans). This one girl decides she doesn’t like it and starts yelling at this one guy in particular. It escalates pretty quickly and it’s at this point we are almost certain they are dating. Another girl, who is affiliated with the group, strikes up a quick and short conversation with us. It is then we learn that our hypothesis is wrong; they are not dating…they are married. Awesome. Finally, they simmer down after much profanity and crying on her part. It is also at this point that we are just about to take that last turn into the loading area.

Just so you can picture it, I’m in front in a red polo shirt (remember that, it's important) with Steve, Jamie, Jonas, and another kid who's name i can never remember. Behind us, there is part of the group that was smoking, just one or two at this point, and behind them is the mom and the girl with asthma. Right at this moment, four or five kids walk in through that one side door located close to the head of the line and jump in front of the mom to meet their cohorts (located directly behind us). The mom, who is already ticked, goes ballistic and starts screaming at them. They smugly turn away, which only worsens the situation. It gets to the point that she is looking for an employee to kick them out. This is where my shirt comes in (do you remember the color? That’s right, red. Good job). The employees wear red shirts at Kennywood and in her rage she mistakes me for an employee. So now, not only is she yelling at them, but she is yelling at me to do something about the kids. I calmly try to explain that I do not work there, but she’s so furious she doesn’t realize what I’m saying. Her face is as red as the Kennywood shirts by now. Finally, one of the employees comes over and asks what is going on. She explains the situation, or rather, yells it at him. However, he says he can’t do anything about it, which makes her completely irate.  Now she’s yelling at the kids and the employee (I think she’s forgotten about me at this point). Suddenly, the employee has a flash of genius and decides to go get his superior. At long last, the superior (who is maybe a month older than the employee) comes and escorts one of the kids out (and I believe out of the park). Justice.

 

That could possibly be the best thing I ever saw at Kennywood.