pianrsaonmoniia

and as i wait

he watches.

and as i watch

he waits.

the longer this goes on

the harder it is to think.

i think i'm forgetting.

the longer this goes on

the less safe i feel.

i think i'm remembering.

i know i am.

i know i am.

 

the street light is on

casting a shadow across his face.

i can't see his face.

the night is on

casting a shadow across the window.

i can't see his face.

 

if only he'd stop waiting,

i'd stop watching.

if only he'd stop watching,

i'd stop waiting.

but he'll never leave.

but he'll never stop.

 

soon i can't stand it any longer.

and i can't take it anymore.

i throw my caffine toward him,

toward his empty face.

i throw my brick toward him,

toward his empty window.

 

the window breaks,

sending me falling back.

the window shatters,

sending me falling back.

i pull myself up

slowly

so he won't see.

i climb to my feet

slowly,

i wonder if he sees.

 

and as i look through the window

i am gone.

Reviews

[Mavis Bard]

These sets of poems are collectively good.

I think for this final segment you should somehow show the difference between the paranoiac and the insomniac; for example, italicize, parenthesize, capitalize, whatever, make the lines different in order for them to stand out.

Also I would HIGHLY recommend changing the last line from 'i am gone' to 'he is gone', and repeat the last two lines, revealing both perspectives. This way it gives the reader a chance to decide for himself if the paranoiac/insomniac is schizophrenic or just two separate individuals with a deeper meaning. It wouldn't be a cliffhanger, just an open means to different interpretations.
I like them.