The Wind in the Wheat

If you've read my bio, this is one of those little things that floated into my head. It may eventually turn into a book, but that could be just wishful thinking.

May 30, 1932

My dearest Annette,

 

I write you this letter not knowing why life is the way that it is.  Life comes, life goes, and we are just spectators, watching it pass us by.  There are a few though, a select few, that have the chance to catch up with life and follow the path that it makes.  But no path is the same; they may run side by side or they may cross, even but for a moment, but this we cannot control.  I have watched my life pass by me for many years, wondering day in and day out if it will ever ask me if I would like a ride.  Not necessarily a ride to somewhere, but a ride to wherever it is going.  I can't help but wonder, though, if my life got lost somewhere along the way, if it made a wrong turn, if it has crashed and lies fading away on the roadside.  I do know that I have not helped guide my life through the twisting, turning paths that it must have taken.  And in my failure of guidance, I fear that my life, in losing control, has collided recklessly with the lives of those who I hold dear to my heart.  I hope that I have not hurt you so deep that you will never again let me pass through your thoughts.  I hope that I have not scarred your life so badly that you can never again be who you once were.  I know that what I have done to you may be something that you may never find it in your heart to forgive me and I am prepared for all of the consequences.  I have caused you pain, and for that I am truly sorry from the deepest parts of my soul.

 

I know that what I am saying must seem to be a jumbled mess of thoughts and feelings, but I find that I am at lost for the correct words to say what I truly mean to say.  As I look to the future, I am unsure of what it may bring.  It is a strange road, darkened with the shadows of doubt.  I want you to know, however, whatever has and may come to pass, I love you.  I have always loved you.  Every little thing about you captivates me, engrosses my every thought.  I do not say these things to try to sway your thoughts of me.  I only say them so that you know truth, something I know I have not always spoken.  I leave this letter to you as I do my heart and my life.  If you feel that you can once again hold me in your heart, come find me, you know where I will be.  If you cannot, then may you do as you see fit.  Whatever your choice, I only ask you one last request:  Will you not let your life pass you by as I have my own?  I cannot make you do anything you do not wish, but I can hope that you will live your life to its full.  I do not expect these words to persuade you to come back to me, I do not expect anything anymore.  I only wish you the best in your life and whatever that may bring.

 

Forever with love,

 

William

 

_____

 

The sun sank low in the sky as a late spring day came to and end.  The air was quite, cool with a breeze.  The wind flowed through the wheat fields ripe for the harvest.  The land was flat and straight except for a lone silhouette that stood black along the horizon.