I Learned My Etiquette From A Dog

It's actually quite a deep poem though I'm not sure I did the best at getting that across. Some have suggested that it's not quite there. I may agree.

When I was just a child

People would come to our home

I would jump around

And make much noise

My mother would scold me

And I would say, “I’m sorry,

I learned my etiquette from a dog.”

 

When I became a young man

And food would be provided

I would scarf it down

And make a mess

And they would look at me

And I would say, “I’m sorry,

I learned my etiquette from a dog.”

 

In later years of my life

People would be around me

I would talk so much

They got no word

They would frown, walk away

And I would say, “I’m sorry,

I learned my etiquette from a dog.”

 

When my wife lay sick in bed

She looked with her fading eyes

I kissed her so soft

She said to me

“Thank you for your loyalty”

And then I said, “Thank you dear,

I learned my etiquette from a dog.”

Author's Note

When I first had the idea for this, I was sitting on the bus. I thought of the title first except that it was "I Learned My Etiquette From a Frog". Then it became "...From a Toad". While I was pondering over it, I though of the last stanza and thus it became "...From a Dog".

Reviews

[djdopeslap]

I love this poem so much; it reminds me of my dog, and many more people should be like him.
I'm not too sure about these lines:

In later years of my life
People would be around me
I would talk so much
They got no word
They would frown, walk away
And I would say, "I'm sorry,
I learned my etiquette from a dog."

They don't seem to fit with the mood of the rest of the poem. Are you referring to a dog constantly barking? Maybe over-excitement would be a better trait.

But still, fantastic job. I love it.

[Idioteque]

Nice job. I like the way you ended it a lot. Throughout the poem, it was the subtle little things like the jumping around and such, and the 'finger food' deal with eating so fast, you can't taste it. But then, in the end, in an almost humbled response to the wife that was not feeling well, you really brought the meaning behind the loving aspect of the dog to life. Nice going.

[Mavis Bard]

What I like about the poem is the repetition, definitely emphasizing the characteristics of the narrator, and even personifying the dog itself. I like how you brought the two together.

It has potential, but I don't think it's there, yet. Proper punctuation is definitely needed since you use it for the quote, and I think maybe more substance is needed. It's only my opinion, however, and it is not my 'opini�n profesional' (guess which movie), so I have no shame if you bash my comment.