flawless angel

your just like a flawless angel,

falling from the sky.

you want to spread your wings,

and you want to learn how to fly.

You dont nwat to hit the ground.

You dont want to get hurt.

So you dont even try,

you just watch the opertunitise pace you by.

hold your breathe.

Count to ten.

Now relize you we cant start over agian.

Use your wasted effort,

trust your wings.

Look straight ahead

and see all the wonderful things.

Now your flyn,

without even tryn.

Did you really have to take the fall to see all these things?

Reviews

[Morgie W.]

I notice a few grammar issues, but other than that, it's good. A few typos, but it's still fairly easy to read. ^^

[shiloh jennings]

This is a sweet piece .... I like the flow... the last bit:

Now your flyn,
without even tryn.
Did you really have to take the fall to see all these things?

is excellent :) I love the way it ties it together and puts it in perspective. Agreed about the spelling and grammar -- I like the use of alternative language, like "flyn" and "tryn" .. but if that is a method you are going for, then carry it through the whole piece.... e.e.cummings walked his own line.. poetry can take any form or shape and spelling and grammar can be tossed aside IF you know what you're doing.

Keep writing! :) Welcome to WC!

[Lyndsay Castro]

I really like the idea behind this poem. The grammar and spelling need to be tightened up a bit, but the flow and form are nice!