I'll protect you, don't be scared.

A letter I won't be sending:

I'm running out of ways to convince you that I'm actually here for you. Willing to put it all on the line, risk everything I have to make sure YOU are healthy, happy, and safe. 

I'm running out of ways to convince you that I love you and I am so good for you. I don't have the energy necessary to keep putting it out.

I'm running out of ways to convince you that it doesn't hurt to hear about either one of them and about how much you love them more than me. It just hurts.

I'm running out of ways to convince you that no one has your interest at hand as I do. No one else is willing to put you where I can. No one else can give you what I can.

I'm running out of ways to convince you that it's okay to push me away, because it isn't and it's like a slap in the face with a handful of knives.

<div style="text-align: center; ">&quot;I'll protect you, don't be scared

No matter what, I will be there

I'll be gentle, I'll be light&quot; 

(Marion Raven- Here I am)</div>

I love you. 

I want you.

I need you.

I crave you.

I feed you.

I live you.

I am yous.

But...

I'm running out of ways to convince myself I'm not miserable listening to your relationship happiness.

I'm running out of ways to convince myself I'm stronger than any of them and I can handle the pain.

I'm running out of ways to convince myself I'm taking this pain and dealing with it.

I'm running out of ways to convince myself I'm not tip-toing around disaster.

I'm running out of ways to convince myself I'm not irrefutably and irrevocably in love with you,

I'm running out of ways to convince myself I'm good enough to make you happy.

I'm running out of ways to convince myself I'm worth you leaving EVERYTHING for.

I'm running out of ways to convince myself I'm better off without you because...

I love you, and I'm willing to do it all.

I need you, and I'm willing to fight for you.

I want you, and I'm willing to show you, you belong to me.

I. AM. YOURS.

But you don't/won't know that, now... will you?