Is there any hope for me?

Dont read too much into it.

 

Angels on the sideline,

Watching me amused.

Falling within the depression again,

Scraping against the walls of my sanity…

A trap keeping me tight.

Bound up in barbed wire,

Taking every nail thrown within my body,

I’m clueless, shapeless… voiceless.

Convincing myself that my screams are not heard,

Muffled whispers echoing within themselves.

“Cry! Cry! Cry! You goddamn w***e! CRY!”

That voice seems to grow louder,

Oh its just the voice of my conscience playing jokes…

Trying to get me to see the irony behind my tears.

 

Drowning in misery, one inch at a time,

It’s like breathing through my knees and elbows,

Impossible to see the light at the end…

Am I still looking for salvation?

Or am I looking for a helping hand?

Maybe a kind word and a kiss on the forehead,

From the man I love…

But that may cause blood too…

All I want to do is join him wherever he may be,

And have him pull away the blade

The villain that adores to see blood spill,

Blood that never seemed to sour,

So rotten, so despicable!

 

Drowning in this wanna be depression again,

Spilling my blood for some unknown cause,

That may save me… one day.

Maybe.

How can I tell them I need a therapist,

A few bottles of pills and maybe a drink…

A drink to drown it all away,

But I searched every bottle down to its end…

No answer to questions… nothing.

 

Drawing the x that marks the spot,

Hiding it nicely behind long sleeves…

I need someone to hold me and wait…

Catch every each and one of my tears.

Expunge my fears.

Will it ever be okay for me to smile again?

Will I ever find comfort within the arms of the one I love?

Probably not, so why keep acting that all is well?

Why not make the cut,

Where x marks the spot?

Author's Note

theres no point or large picture... thoughts circle in my head screaming to be let out. thats the product... black on white.

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

Brings to me the image of an elevator ride to a interview that they just don't want to go to, and the nerves are causing the elevator to warp and spin in circles. While the elevator music is playing the love boat them backward.
I really don't know why that popped into my head while I read this....

But it was very mental. I liked it alot!
I think it made my mind tingle! :)

Wonderful Black and White!
Infinity's Shadow
Aaron

[Calvspw]

writing is a form of letting them out, a soul searching, a reader listens, a reader reaches out to lend an ear, to tell you, there is no turning back the future is out there, a wish away, from one who know's never give up believe, the answer can be happy the answer will be true, if you only believe.

[Legion]

You ever listen to Tool? An interesting poem. Not so sure about that cutting bit though. Had a couple of friends go that route. Not good at all. Glad you could get this out there though. Writing helps many people sometimes.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is truly excellent... So many peoples addictions derive from there escape from the emotional voids they try and fill... I've never believe addiction to alcohol was physical but more mental, when you use it or drugs to escape your problems then it becomes a crutch... I mean there are addictions to gambling and cutting and those don't derive from chemical additions... anyways what I am trying to say is your poem i think hits on that subject so nicely... very intelligent work.