Martyrdom

I do not have huge descriptions of the main characters. Partly because I am bad at descriptions, and largely because my original audience was the main characters in the flesh. I wrote it in first person because I never planned to share it. Main things I would love help on include grammar, keeping dialogue and middle bits interesting, and then filling in some of the gaps I have in the story. Also let me know if I leave out important connecting bits. This is my first attempt at a novel that actually went anywhere. Thanks!