All My Middle School Girlfriends

A Poem by Ryan

The term "middle school girlfriend" takes on a whole new meaning.

Let me take you back to a time where competition was all there was, really still is.

Look I was in 7th place, middle school to be exact

I remember the first time someone asked me if I had a girlfriend

I hadn’t really the slightest clue what it meant to have one, all I did was that when you mate search, opposites attract. I guess if thats true, i’d be attracted to the exact thing they tell you to be church.

But as I did the math in my head, starting to add up, no I started to subtract all my pre gained knowledge I had about what a girlfriend was.

II began to reenact in my mind what other peoples girlfriend experiences consisted of. The only thing that came to mind was unclear, abstract pictures of what really was going down.

To have a girlfriend in middle school you only spend brief momentary time with together, only for a couple of seconds until you realized that others were watching. Then you’d dart away as if trying to cover up that you’d even just talked to, no blinked at her.

And when things get tough, you can't stick around, cause then you might get sucked down, down to the ground where the hounds will tear you up.

If by this definition of a girlfriend, then yes. I guess i've had a few girlfriends of my own. In fact we’ve been together for quite some time, and I suppose you could say we’ve had quite the success.

We’ve been together longer than most relationships. Nevertheless its hard to suppress my ability to, well her ability to impress my slightest idea of obsess.

Her name is pornography, we only see each other sometimes and when we do, its brief. When I decide to give her a short break from our relationship I think what a relief, i’ll see you on the upside. Though my hunger for more, my brief moment of orgasm comes and steals her like a thief and I take her inside.

Sometimes I cheat on her with other girlfriends i've picked up. Just like the first, we only see each other for short interactions, usually during my time spent with her too. Her name is pride. and i’ve failed to recognize when it is that I actually need her, but my pride says to keep her.

I’ve begun to drift backwards. Falling behind in this race. I now sit in 8th place, middle school to be exact. I hadn’t really the slightest clue what it meant to have a girlfriend, all I did was that opposites attract, and I was doing good.

But as I did the math in my head, continuing to subtract, no I started to add all my current knowledge about what a girlfriend was and began to acquire more. The next only as old as the first or second, but I still in 8th and growing farther behind. I found myself in 9th, and then 10th place. I started breaking out against all mankind, I wasnt designed for nor was inclined to be acting out and showing all these combined undefined signs of selfishness.

I gave the others names too; lust, greed, hate and self righteousness. I called them all together, as if to celebrate our anniversary. Though little did they know this was the endaversary. I stood toe to toe to all who filled the room and all who filled my soul with middle school love and said it is finished.

See from that moment my eyes were peeled to a love much deeper and the old one diminished. This one doesn't need to be replenished cause now its in me! The love of God was kept within the temple in which I host Him. Overflowing and fulfilling all that was blemished and was left there to rot before. Then He said oh wait im not finished, and there I witnessed His most beautiful creation.

As if almost a new life to be lived, He blessed me with a wife. One not to be middle schooled with but to be schooled in the art of love with. What it truly meant to love, to no longer worry about one, two, three, four I ran outta fingers to count how many, but they were gone.

But I did know that when I was running the race of life I kept looking back to see who was there, then I started looking right next to me to see who was running toward the same thing as me. It turned out she was there the whole time.

Its funny how they say opposites attract cause i’d been attracted to my opposite for my whole life, then I realized they meant they only attract, no one said anything about them lasting or dying on a cross for your life.

This is the real life now. I get to be in first place, I guess thats why He said to have childlike faith. I’m free!

I've kinda got a clue as to what one is, but if it was up to me, I'd much rather have a wife not just something you concede.